harbdress

Jim Harbaugh: Magnificent. Crafted by only the most oppressed slave labor. And so replaceable, like the ideal football player. Tell me how much they are again.

Walmart employees: I don’t know, sir. You’ll have to let me see the tag.

Jim Harbaugh: It says $8. Now I want to hear you say it.

Walmart employee: The pants are $8.

Jim Harbaugh: What pants?

Walmart employee: The khaki pants you have on.

Jim Harbaugh: What about them?

Walmart employee: They cost $8.

[Harbs takes out red pen, marks on tag]

Jim Harbaugh: WRONG! They cost $5.

Walmart employee: I don’t believe they’re on sale.

Jim Harbaugh: CHALLENGE! I SAW YOU GIVE THEM TO CARROLL FOR FIVE BUCKS! CALL THESE PRICES DOWN THE MIDDLE! FAIR IS FAIR! YOU TRYING TO CHEAT ME?

Walmart employee: Sir, please keep your voice down. And who is Carroll? I don’t have the authority to change the cost of an item. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Jim Harbaugh: OH SO I’M A LIAR NOW AM I?

Walmart employee: Sir, other customers are waiting for the dressing room.

Jim Harbaugh: I’M NOT GONNA BE BULLIED BY THE LIKES OF YOU. I’M WEARING THESE PANTS UNDER PROTEST UNTIL THE CORRECT PRICE IS ENFORCED.

[Storms off]

Walmart employee: Fine, I don’t give a shit. Next up! Dressing room 4 is open!