Jim Harbaugh: Magnificent. Crafted by only the most oppressed slave labor. And so replaceable, like the ideal football player. Tell me how much they are again.
Walmart employees: I don’t know, sir. You’ll have to let me see the tag.
Jim Harbaugh: It says $8. Now I want to hear you say it.
Walmart employee: The pants are $8.
Jim Harbaugh: What pants?
Walmart employee: The khaki pants you have on.
Jim Harbaugh: What about them?
Walmart employee: They cost $8.
[Harbs takes out red pen, marks on tag]
Jim Harbaugh: WRONG! They cost $5.
Walmart employee: I don’t believe they’re on sale.
Jim Harbaugh: CHALLENGE! I SAW YOU GIVE THEM TO CARROLL FOR FIVE BUCKS! CALL THESE PRICES DOWN THE MIDDLE! FAIR IS FAIR! YOU TRYING TO CHEAT ME?
Walmart employee: Sir, please keep your voice down. And who is Carroll? I don’t have the authority to change the cost of an item. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Jim Harbaugh: OH SO I’M A LIAR NOW AM I?
Walmart employee: Sir, other customers are waiting for the dressing room.
Jim Harbaugh: I’M NOT GONNA BE BULLIED BY THE LIKES OF YOU. I’M WEARING THESE PANTS UNDER PROTEST UNTIL THE CORRECT PRICE IS ENFORCED.
Walmart employee: Fine, I don’t give a shit. Next up! Dressing room 4 is open!
I want more like this!
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