Hulk With Chili

HERE’S HULK’S RECIPE

NOTE: HULK DISLIKES RECIPES IN GENERAL. THEY ALWAYS FEEL WRONG. IT’S LIKE SAYING “DRIVE FIVE MINUTES AND TAKE A RIGHT.” THEY SHOULD ADVOCATE KNOW-HOW AND LETTING PEOPLE FIGURE IT OUT INSTEAD OF JUST CONFINING THEM AND MAKING THEM FEEL UNSURE WITH SPECIFICITY. IT’S WEIRD. ANYWHO;

BEEF
PORK
FENNEL SAUSAGE
APPLEWOOD BACON
RED BEANS
ANCHO CHILES
VARIOUS CHILES
STRONG COFFEE
OKRA
CAYENNE
FRESH OREGANO
COCOA POWDER
CORIANDER
CUMIN
BROWN SUGAR

* * *
BE SURE RED BEANS ARE PROPERLY SOAKED (BELIEVE IT OR NOT, YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH CANNED RED BEANS)

TOAST THEN SOAK CHILES.

SHALLOTS IN BUTTER TILL BROWN. A MIX CHICKEN AND BEEF BROTH MIX. DEGLAZE. SET ASIDE.

IN LARGE-ASS SKILLET (USUALLY IT TAKES TWO) COOK ALL THE MEAT (MINUS BACON) ON SUPER HIGH HEAT TO GET BROWNING, BUT DON’T COOK ALL THE WAY THROUGH WHATSOEVER. OR EVEN TURNING IT OVER. USE THE SAME CHICKEN/BEEF STOCK TO DEGLAZE. THROW IT ALL INT THE POT.

ADD TOMATOES WHOLE. HULK LIKES WHOLE ROMAS CAUSE IT FORCES YOU TO DO THE LONGEST STEW UNTIL THEY’RE ALL BROKEN DOWN.
COOK BACON TO IDEAL CRISPNESS W/OUT BURNING. DRAIN. THROW IN POT (IT WILL GET REHYDRATED IN STEW. ACTUAL BURNED PARTS WON’T. BUT IF IT’S NOT CRISP IT WON’T GIVE THE SMOKIEST POSSIBLE BACON FLAVOR).
TAKE OUT SOAKED CHILES AND PROCESS THEM WITH CUMIN. A LITTLE COCOA POWDER. CORIANDER. PAPRIKA. CAYENNE. FRESH OREGANO. BROWN SUGAR. (A LITTLE TAD OF THE COOKING CHILE CAN’T HURT EITHER). MIX PROPORTIONS TO TASTE. ADD TO POT.

ADD A CUP OR TWO OF THE BEEF/CHICKEN BROTH MIXTURE SO THAT IT MAY STEW PROPERLY.

ADD HALF THE RED BEANS (RED BEANS BREAK DOWN EASILY, SO YOU WANT HALF TO STEW. HALF TO MAKE GOOD).

SIMMER CHILE UNTIL AT THE CONSISTENT IDEAL. USUALLY ABOUT 45 MINUTES. ADD WATER IF NEEDED. KEEP TASTING. ADDING ANY OF THE OTHER FLAVORS IF NECESSARY.

ABOUT 30 MINUTES INTO 45 MINUTES, ADD THE OTHER RED BEANS.

5 MINUTES LATER, ADD A LITTLE FINELY DICED OKRA (DON’T WANT TO THICKEN TOO HEAVILY).

WHEN NEAR THE END. PROPERLY SALT (KOSHER ONLY) WITH FULL CONTROL. BE SURE SALT IS FULLY INCORPORATED BEFORE DECIDING IF YOU NEED MORE. NO NEED FOR BLACK PEPPER.

ADD ONE STRONG CUP OF COFFEE FOR A BITTER NOTE, BUT ONLY TO TASTE. IT SHOULD BE FAINT.

LET CONTINUE COOKING FOR ABOUT ANOTHER 5 MINUTES SO EVERYTHING IS EVEN KEELED.

TAKE OUT. SERVE.

ENJOY THE HECK OUT OF.