Time marches on. It has only been a short time since your final votes confirmed what we all knew to be true already, since they verified a truth posited 6 days ago: that Kellen Moore kind of looks like a horse, and that Jeff Baca looks like, and I quote, “a Christmas ham”. Both contenders neatly disposed of their more famous adversaries. Will this week’s Ugly Bowl voting be as lopsided?
We kick off with one of the most exciting players in recent history, Jimmy Graham of the New Orleans Saints. The man is a beast, probably one of the best tight ends to play the game. Ironic, then, that his head kind of looks like a weird penis.
He’s up against Chase Blackburn, linebacker for the Carolina Panthers, seen below staring at you silently as you sleep.
Our next matchup… it’s not even fair. Sometimes the divisional system screws players over, and for that, Kevin Cone of the Atlanta Falcons, I’m sorry. To give you a sporting chance, I’m going to cherry-pick an image that makes it seem like you’re really high. Maybe you’ll get some of the stoner vote.
I did my best for you, buddy, but unfortunately you’re paired with the Bucs’ Mike Glennon.
Wait shit, that’s not right. My bad. Let me try that again.
There we go. Vote below. We’ll head west next week and then move on to the AFC.
I want more like this!
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