C

Finally, Tony Dungy can sleep at night knowing the man who wrought so much heartless hate and cruelty to this world – allegedly – is in police custody. Authorities arrested 32-year-old Kenneth Edward Tarr¬†and have charged him with, of all things, felony eavesdropping for recording the prank calls he’s alleged to have made. Among those calls were ones placed to Tony Dungy and Jack Del Rio this fall claiming to be from a representative of USC looking to replace the then-recently-fired Lane Kiffin. According to authorities, those calls, as well as calls placed to even some NBA coaches, were the work of Tarr. Tarr, meanwhile, has claimed he’s better than Andy Kaufman (not true) and that he deserves to be paid more than Antwan Jamison (probably true simply for pranking Dungy). Meanwhile, a teary-eyed Del Rio continues to tell John Fox, his chin quivering all the while, “No way, coach, I totally wouldn’t have left Denver for somewhere like Southern California. Nope, I love these frigid five degree games. Totally. Always *sniff* on your side, boss. I didn’t believe him for a second.”