Cetificate Of Merit 12-17 1

Welcome to the KSK Kommentariat, a lovely group of best friends you’ve just met. A friendship based on one common truth as spoken by Kommenter Rex Grossman in the Football As Football Adds More Graphic Design Porn thread, “Let’s come right out and say it: NFL is the only thing in life that matters.”

I am your host Sarah Sprague and these are your KSK Comments of the Week for December 11, 2013. And if there was a way I could perfectly sync the two, I’d rewatch the Packers-Cowboys game while rereading the Week 15 Late Games Open Thread just to enjoy all the Romoception comments for a third time.

This Is Why The Bengals Can’t Have Nice Things

Cuntler

My wife makes me watch football with the baby. His first word will probably be “Jesus Fucking Christ. Tackle somebody!”

/uh, go Bears?

Bengals-Steelers Sunday Night Live Blog, Second Half

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus, why would the Steelers borrow Monte Kiffin’s defense?

(Reply) Mike McCarthyism
Dick LaBeau won it in a cribbage game against him

Week 15 Early Games Open Thread

zymm

There are enough siblings in the NFL to convince me of the existence of secret breeding farms.

Big Black Richard 2

The last time I saw something as unproductive as the Giants offense today I was looking at Bob Dole’s right arm.

Philip Rivers Saturday Spaz Party

JustinJump

What happened? Philip Rivers all of a sudden feels like the new Nic Cage. I know I used to hate him, but for the life of me I can’t figure out why anymore.

Chargers-Broncos Thursday Night Finale Live Blog

Otto Man

WOODHEAD AND WEDDLE, I CALL THEM THE STOCKBROKERS BECAUSE THEY’RE A COUPLE OF BROS WHO ARE DEFINITELY BUY CURIOUS.

KSK Sex & Fantasy Mailbag: Keeping Things Fresh in the Bedroom and Your League

Kungjitsu

Women don’t acknowledge that they poop at all, even in the abstract. There’s no way a chick would tell you that she devastated your plumbing. Don’t worry about breaking up with her. You’ll never see her again.

Colin Kaepernick Busts Out the Beats, Seattle Gets Alternate Cut

Winnebago Warrior

Can’t wait to see the Matt Flynn version where he walks through an empty parking lot with a dog humping his leg and White Snake playing over the top.

/here I go again on my own

Mike Shanahan’s Tuesday Press Conference Was Full Of Amazing Quotes

Special love to Sharkbait, who with one single comment, set off a few dozen more in the chain. Well done.

Sharkbait

Good to see Shanahan has no reservations anymore

Drunk Jets Fan Pisses Himself While Loudly Pleading For A Geno Smith ACL Tear

Tom Clancy Wiggum

The best thing about Jets fans is that they still have meltdowns even thought they expect their team to suck.

David Terrell’s Balls

Has a drunk asshole ever resisted the urge to jump up, jump up, and get down before? We might have witnessed history here, folks.

Fronkenshteen

Guess his Chrebet jersey is still at his fuckin’ whore ex-girlfriend’s apartment.

(Reply) Rex Grossman
fail what does this even mean

(Reply) Fronkenshteen

It means he only wears jerseys of gritty, WHITE players, and he is an alcoholic mess who probably has multiple ex-girlfriends with restraining orders against him. See, I’m from around there, and after watching 90 seconds of this guy, I feel like I know everything about him. I think that’s called an archetype. Should I have used quotation marks, so youd’ve known it wasn’t me calling her a fucking whore? She’s NOT a whore, she’s just trying to move on with her life, and seeing other people is part of that. He SAYS all he wants is his Chrebet jersey back, but every time she lets him in, things go too far, and really, how many times can you have sex with a guy who smells like White Castle and you have to peel off his pissed-in pants, too? AND he always conveniently “forgets” (THERE’S those quotes!) the goddamn jersey when he leaves! Sorry, Im not very good at jokes. It all seems quite funny in my head, but sometimes I forget what words mean. Also, I have only one finger, so I type extremely slowly. I am able to both Hunt AND Peck, but not simultaneously. What I’m trying to say is I love you and I want to be best friends. Will you babysit my dog? Oh, and I’m crazy.

The Time Has Come For A Fan-Revolution Against The NFL

BigLeagueJew

“AND TWINS!”
-Josef Mengele