It’s been a while since we’ve posted a news story recap from the Taiwanese animators at NMA Media. Let’s remedy that by sharing their video about the Redskins fan who was thrown down the stairs by FedEx Field security on Sunday. Sneaking past security behind houseplants? The perfect deception!

— Speaking of the Redskins, they were the only team that declined to share a photo of the team Christmas tree. For those suggesting that’s a Dan Snyder move, I counter that the most Dan Snyder move would have been sharing it, but only for a $20 viewing fee per person.


— Injured Bengals punter Kevin Huber got a Steelers blender and a Bengals fan mask as gag gifts from his family following surgery to fix his broken jaw. All fun and games until he hits the Pittsburghish setting on the blender.


— Your trusty Ape editor got his 49ers fan father his very own personalized brick at the new Niners stadium. Don’t worry, the team will send him a duplicate brick in addition to the one placed in the fanwalk, so he can rightfully use it to bludgeon me when it arrives in 2-3 weeks.

— Texans linebacker Jeff Tarpinian revealed he had brain surgery to remove a malformation in his brain two years ago when he was a rookie with the Patriots. At the time, New England only listed it as a “head injury” which is actually pretty descriptive for the Patriots. Normally, he’d only be described as out with a head.

— J.J. Watt’s mother convinced him to get plastic surgery to repair his frequently broken nose. He’s also going to make it so his hand is permanently affixed to his forehead in saluting position, but he didn’t need convincing for that.

— Jonathan Martin broke his nearly two-month silence on social media to wish everyone happy holidays and was promptly called a coward by a host of mouthbreathers. Surely he just wanted to add the cyberbullying experience to his regular bullying.