ABOVE: Artist’s rendition of Jamaal Charles

Have you ever sat and wondered to yourself, “What would it be like to be in my fantasy football league’s championship game and have my star player score five touchdowns on 200+ all-purpose yards?”

Well, as someone who has experienced that today, here’s what it looks like:

By the way, he had eight carries for 20 yards. “Fuck running. LOOK AT ME, I’M CALVIN JOHNSON!”

And yes, you read that right, Kirk Cousins did outscore Peyton Manning. Imagine what the Sex Cannon could have gotten had Shanahan had the BALLS to put him in.