bengals snowman
This is the best pizza commercial I’ve ever seen. Take notes, Papa John.

Last Week: 2-1
Last Week’s Stupid Ass Single-Game Parlay: LOSS

About that… Once again, you just can’t bet against Jason Campbell. And yes, I picked him up in my fantasy league in case my other two quarterbacks die, or something.

Stupid Ass Single Game-Parlays Overall: 2-9
Overall: 24-22-1

Onward, friends.

Stupid Ass Single-Game Parlay of the Week

Cincinnati Bengals -3 vs. Pittsburgh Steelers and UNDER 41.5

I will take the Cincinnati defensive front over the Pittsburgh offensive line, I just have to hope that they don’t score any defensive touchdowns.

Home Favorite of the Week

Indianapolis Colts -6 vs. Houston Texans

Jesus, the AFC South is a clusterfuckopotamus. The Colts have alternated wins and losses for the last six weeks and they’re still running away with the division.

Home Dog of the Week

Tennessee Titans +3 vs. Arizona Cardinals

The Cardinals are one of the hotter teams in the league, even if a lot of their wins have come against struggling teams. Meanwhile, the Titans are among the league’s best at losing close games. Seems like a good combination.

Road Favorite of the Week

Seattle Seahawks -7 at New York Giants

This is a great opportunity for Seattle to scout out the whole Meadownlands scene. They can get a lay of the land, and maybe book their hotel rooms and make some dinner reservations. They are going to win the NFC Championship, is what I’m saying. Also, the Giants are awful and definitely worth overlooking.

Road Dog of the Week

Baltimore Ravens +6 at Detroit Lions

At 7-6 and barely clinging to the playoffs, neither team can afford a loss. So Baltimore would be well-served to not wait until the two minute warning to start scoring touchdowns. The bad news is that this week’s game is in a dome, so any really crazy fun shit is probably going to come from Calvin Johnson.

Literal Dog(s) of the Week

goldens

First class lounges have the best amenities.

Fantasy Matchup of the Week

fantasy matchup

I like that quinoa commercial a lot more than I should. This one comes via Josh.

Pro Tip of the Week

Try as I might, I’m probably not going to be able to help you make any money. However, I can offer tips that will help you out in other walks of life. It could be a recommendation on something to read, advice on lighting for your home, something useful I learned on the internet, or, more likely, something about food.

Looking for an impressive meal to serve a crowd for almost no money? That’s what the bo sssam miracle is all about. Pork shoulder costs less than dirt. It’s also delicious, easy to prepare, and incredibly forgiving.

Send me an email if you would like to submit a Fantasy Matchup or a Pro Tip for future consideration.