ohiocouple[via]

When this Browns fan proposed, I presume he yelled, “Let our powers of misery combine!” Then, his natural doopage kicked in, and he flung the ring over his head straight backward, where it fell through the cracks of a storm drain. Ohio matrimonial bliss was had, just as soon as he pawned all of his possessions to afford a second ring.

The second meeting of Cleveland and Cincinnati has – dare I say – some consequence. Not on the league at large, mind you – neither of these slapdick teams are doing anything even if they make the postseason – but there some ramifications for their terrible division. Cincinnati still holds a game and a half lead in the AFC North over Cleveland and Baltimore, but the Bengals have lost two straight. Not to mention they dropped their first meeting with the Browns earlier this year.

Elsewhere, the Jets look to snap their season-long pattern of alternating wins and losses. They won their last game two weeks ago over the Saints so congrats Buffalo! If anything, it should be fascinating to see how many mistakes have to happen for the Bills to win.

After a brief return by Jay Cutler, it’s back to being Down With McCown for Bears fans. Truth be told, Josh McCown has actually played not terribly. Good enough, in fact, that I hope it keeps up for the rest of the season just to see if a team is foolish enough to have him going into the 2014 season as their presumptive starting quarterback. C’mon, Arizona, we know you can do it.

Finally, if the NFC East champ is going to finish with a losing record, as it should this season, it’s important that the Redskins beat the Eagles today.

Your early game slate, as rated by KSK’s not-at-all subjective, rigorously scientificated five-star system:

New York Jets at Buffalo **
Baltimore at Chicago ***
Cleveland at Cincinnati ***
Oakland at Houston **
Arizona at Jacksonville *
Washington at Philadelphia **
Detroit at Pittsburgh **
Atlanta at Tampa Bay *