Cetificate Of Merit Oct 29 2013 1Hello, and welcome to the second edition of Kommentariat Komments of the Week.

Yet another week of everyone being funny, a small band of people still upset over the grammatical errors in PFT Commenter’s posts and the Live Blogs being more entertaining than Thursday Night Football, Monday Night Football and Tuesday morning operational management flow meetings or whatever it is everyone does during the day when they pretend to be working.

To the komments!

NFC East Midseason Report Card

Make It Snow

It’s like if Tim Tebow were an entire division.

Jon Gruden Was At His Most Gruden On Monday Night

Gino Tourettsa

If Gruden was going to sing Mannfred Mann & The Earth Band, he should have sung “Blinded By The Light”. I would have loved to see him stumble through the part with “revved up like a deuce/another runner in the night”.

About That Dez Bryant Sideline Meltdown

Feklhr

Wait, we aren’t gonna do the old “white dudes wagging their finger at the angry colored fella” on this one? Are players with tattoos getting a pass next? You know who has tattoos? AARON HERNANDEZ!

Seahawks-Rams Live Blog, Second Half

John from Jersey

“The Aristocrats!”

Dave Algonquin

Marty: Son, good work out there tonight. I taught you well.
Brian: Can’t believe we lost that. Regular season games are tough…
Marty: Wait a second, that wasn’t a playoff game?! You’re not invited home for Thanksgiving.

Seahawks-Rams Live Blog, First Half

JJFozz

That binder is full of Bradford’s Garbage Pail Kids collection

Balls of Steel

I TELL YA, I CALL THIS RAMS RUNNING GAME THE NCAA BECAUSE PETE CARROLL HAS NO IDEA HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM!!

Marshawn’s Skittlebrau

Zac Stacy saw the first down line and stopped out of respect and fear

In Which Brandon Meriweather Says All The Incendiary Things

Cutler>Grossman>Unitas’s Corpse>Orton

I don’t think Merriweather wants to pick this fight. After all, there are two Brandon Marshalls.

Dan Snyder Invites Redskins Fans To Wear Blackface on Halloween

John Matrix

Finally, I can go to a Redskins game as Al Jolson without fear of reprisal.

Peter King Says You Must Credit The MMQB For All Nuggets

Cuntler

I don’t know, man. Bill Barnwell definitely writes “game over” in a notebook and has someone locked in his basement who is required to put the lotion on its skin.

Dexter Manley Calls Troy Aikman “Queer” on D.C. Morning Show, Will Not Be Asked Back

Chucklebutt

Slurs are only tolerated in team names, Dexter

Monday Morning Baby Andy Reid

Otto Man

Cute as hell. But just try to give that kid a timeout.

Week 8 Late Games Open Thread

Martin

Cousins got so fucked you’d think this game was in Arkansas.

Week 8 Early Games Open Thread

John Difool

Romo got the ball with 3:33 left on the clock. He is 33 and his quarterback number is 9 which is 3X3 = 9. Romobylocalypse Imminent.

Henne Given Sunday

“Megatron is one of the great non-diva receivers in the league.”

If only he were white, they could call him gritty and reference his blue collar and lunchpail.

America’s Team Is Heading to Downton Abbey

No Ducks for Chalky White

Queen:”My word those american footballers do wear some of the most adoreable little knickers”.
Jerry: “We prefer the term darkies, mam’”.

porkythefirst

THIS QUEEN ELIZABETH, I CALL HER THE WATCH BATTERY BECAUSE SHE MAY NOT REALLY HAVE A LOT OF POWER BUT SHE TAKES FOREVER TO DIE.

Panthers-Buccaneers Live Blog First Half

Kam Fong as Chin Ho

The score might be 14-3, but you won’t see Glennon bury his head in the sand.

Bleeder in the Clubhouse

Lord, I was born a Schiano man
Tryin’ to alienate players and doin’ the best I can
And at the end of the season
I’m gonna get fucking canned
’cause I was born a Schiano man

Honorable mention in there, Nachosanchez wrote an entire TV spec around Schiano as military commander running a prison camp.

Expensive Nut Hugging – KSK Kontent Klearinghouse

TimTebowIsAProAndAQuarterbackButNotBoth

More people watched the Vikings shit their pants on the field than baseball? Fuuuuuuuuuck. I know baseball is terrible n’ all, but it saddens me that so many people witnessed that most embarrassing of games. I’d rather have watched baseball, to be honest. And this is coming from a person who is surprised baseball is still a thing that exists.

Dan Snyder’s New Kicks – Photoshop Contest

zymm

Am I the only one reminded of the Heaven’s Gate UFO cult suicides? With the track suits and the new sneakers? Perhaps Dan Snyder is planning to colonize a new planet full of assholes.

Introducing the Kommentariat Komments of the Week: October 16-22, 2013

Andrew Daisuke

[Door flies open] LET’S GO GET A GODDAMN PLAQUE!

SonOfSpam

So now I gotta bring my A-Game and kill it all week in hopes of getting the tiniest bit of recognition from some woman I’ve not getting any from. Marriage has prepared me well.