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Via SI

Taking a page out of my fantasy TE strategy from the past couple of years, the Massachusetts State Police have kept Aaron Hernandez tightly handcuffed since most of Hernandezes friends are disciples of the Belichickian “snitches get stitches” code. But now SIs reporting that State Troopers served Miami Dolphins Center/former Hernandez teammate Mike Pouncey with a subpoena after todays game against the Patriots, and he will be compelled to testify in front of a grand jury in a Hernandez-related weapons trafficking investigation.

I’m actually in-clined to believe Pouncey is Innocent of all charges on this one. If Im his lawyer I’m calling his gametape as “exhibit 1-A” to demonstrate just how poorly he protects when he trys to run the shotgun folks.

According to SI, “The extent of Pouncey’s potential involvement is undetermined, but police are focusing on multiple transactions that involve him and Hernandez.” Pounceys always losing his head and committing dumb stupid fouls and probably crimes. In fact just earlier today I was calling Pouncey and his buddy Mike Wallace as “The Fast and the Furious.” SMH so hard I cant remember what I ate for breakfast (it was Thunderbird fortified wine.)

Getting served papers underneath Gillette Stadium is actualy a cool new meme the kids are doing these days called “Talibing”, but this one blindsided the Dolphins. This could actually be a great thing for the Dolphins since Pouncey can essentially lock Hernandez up in jail for life with a solidly executed pad-level testimony. Can you imagine if Russ Grimm ever got a chance to testify verse LT? Seems a bit unfair to be honest and if I’m Hernandezes lawyer I’m moving to dismissing any testimony given the obvious NFL rivalry aspect.

Honestly this is going to get worse before it gets better kind’ve like the Dolphins season, and Pounceys already put himself on film wearing a “Free Hernandez” hat which grades out as “Guilty until proven innocent” as far as I’m concerned. Perhap’s the WEIRDEST thing is that SIs own Peter King got scooped so hard on the “Cops hooking up with Pouncey” story,, especially given the fact that he spends all Sunday afternoons obsesively and sweatingly cruising the Gillette Stadium-tunnel casual encounters forums. Looking forward to his take on this during tomorrows MMBM. Enjoy that Mr. Ape.