Darnell Dockett Got Beasted
Texans Turn to Tinder to Solve Their Quarterback Dillema

The Best Moments From Seahawks-Cardinals

By Christmas Ape / 10.18.13

awarethemost

That was a game that satisfied all of our expectations. Of course, when you're talking about a Thursday night game between the Seahawks and the Cardinals, that's not exactly a good thing. It was one-sided. It was played before a crowd of mostly Seattle fans in Arizona.

Even when Arizona broke through with needed turnovers, the Seattle lead never seemed in danger because of how awesome the Seahawks defense is combined with how awful the Cardinals are on offense. If they wanted to lose, the Seahawks needed to be aggressive about it. Instead, they just got caught being a little sloppy here and there.

Overall, the full broadcast was only an enjoyable experience if you're one of those ZOOPER LOUD Seattle fans. Lucky for the rest of you, I took the trouble of isolating the few worthwhile things. Onward!

All Russell Wilson Everyth... Yeah Sure Fine Whatever

wilthird

I have a hard time liking Russell Wilson as a person, mostly because I find people with unbridled enthusiasm mixed with upfront spirituality to be creepy. But that's just me. Dude can ball, though. While he didn't quite have a perfect game, his outing was mostly impressive and there were a handful of plays that were, in fact, incredible. Like this completion for a first down at the end of a scramble just as his knee was about to hit the ground. This happened on a 3rd and 3 in the third quarter when the score was 17-13 Seahawks and by virtue of it being a one-score game, still technically in doubt.

Tipdrill

tipdrill

Playing offense against the Seahawks has to be terrifying for a number of reasons, but especially because it seems like every incomplete pass gets tipped precariously up in the air for a defender to intercept. Even ones that don't become easy jump balls get picked off. Case in point: this Earl Thomas interception in the first half. Frankly, I don't know how Carson Palmer got out of this game with fewer than six picks.

Jesus, Take The Crank

warnersiren

The Cardinals debuted a new siren for the purposes of making intimidating cacophony during their games. Makes sense. When road fans account for two-thirds of your regular attendance, you gotta do everything you can to gin up noise. Naturally, Kurt Warner was the inaugural sounder of the siren because I guess Jake Plummer wasn't available and/or stoned. Anyway, Kurt approached the siren like it was a giant Jack-In-The-Box that would unleash Satan at the end. Though I'm sure Kurt goes to church with something who has that very same end times theory.

Nice blocking, Buzzsaw

clemons

Seldom does the Cardinals offensive line have good games, but this was extra humiliating. On this play, Chris Clemons bull rushes the shit out of Bradley Sowell. It almost doesn't matter that Clemons doesn't even get the sack or that he probably should have been flagged for a facemask penalty. Okay, in the grand scheme of things, those do matter, but not for Sowell's pride, which is now nugatory.

Legion of Boom

kam

There was a running play where Kam Chancellor pancaked a blocker and then immediately brought down the ball carrier. Great play? Certainly. But also jeeeeeeesus, Arizona linemen, you're getting leveled by safeties?

U Blocked, Bro?

shermblock

The one nice thing Arizona did all night: have Larry Fitzgerald lay out Richard Sherman with a block on a running play. Nothing personal, of course. Just professional devastation. Good Guy Fitty was sure to make nice after the play.

fittypat

How did he know?

petewuuh

It being a Seahawks blowout win, there was a lot of ecstatic Pete Carroll face, like this. I was more by this random shot of Pete where it looks like he's dodging the TNF graphic. He's so crafty. He even knows where the graphics department is bringing blitzes.

Encore

beefdoc

I made a separate post of Marshawn Lynch destroying Darnell Dockett, but I'd be remiss if I didn't include it here as well. It's my favorite example of a running back blow-up-tuating a defender since MJD crushed Shawne Merriman back in 2007.

This Week In Mayockisms

Oh Jeez

lynched

Nice unfortunate signage, Seahawks fan. Yes, we all get what you're going for with the "YOU JUST GOT LYNCHED" sign. Very adorably insensitive. Just know that you suck and we hate you.


 

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