Goodbye off-season, goodbye freedom

(via Getty Image)


Today is the last Sunday without football until February 9, 2014. Make the most of it. Go for a bike ride at the beach with your family, finish the mulching project in the garden you started in June, or give your grandparents a call. Maybe even watch a baseball game, you know, if you’re into that sort of thing (weirdo).

Finalize your fantasy football rosters. Make sure your coolers didn’t develop any new cracks over the summer, double check the amount of charcoal or gas you have on hand for the grill and stock up now if you need to, pull your lucky team pint glass off the top shelf and wash the dust off of it. If you haven’t already, sell off your spare kidney to pay for your Sunday Ticket subscription. Fan of the Browns? Write a strongly worded letter to Mike Lombardi that states while you’re not an expert, you feel very strongly that the team should have a kicker going into the season.

Take a couple of minutes out of your last free Sunday without football to sign Ray Lewis up for a few┬áIlluminati newsletters, a Scientology personality test and if you happen to be a member of the Skull and Bones, show up at his front door with Martin Van Buren’s skull.

Find some time today to take a few deep breaths and relax. Not saying you need to sit in lotus position and meditate for hours, just a couple of minutes to sit outside and be still. This is the last Sunday until February 9, 2014 you will have any sort of peace in your mind. Savor it. Remember this calm, because at some point during season you will be so sick during a game you will forget this feeling even exists.

Farewell, football-free Sundays. We won’t miss you one bit.

(Ohio-Louisville doesn’t count.)