baby

Aww, look it! It’s a little baby panda! It doesn’t matter what you name a panda. It’s still gonna be adorable and everyone will still love it. The same doesn’t apply to your fantasy team. People are already inclined to dislike your fantasy team because it is not their fantasy team. That’s why you need an awesome fantasy name. It probably won’t make other owners like your team, but it will make them envy it, which is much better anyway.

Football:

Hanging With Riley Cooper
Riley Cooper’s Aryan Foster Home
I Will Fight Every Glory Boy Here
Weasel Coaches
Seauicidal Tendencies (h/t @MrButterChicken)
Denver Fax Machines
The Strong Takers
Hand Schaub
Principal Rooney Rule
Aaron Hernandez Smashed Cell Phone Receptions
Gruden Bump and Grinders
Mike Freeman’s Four Gay Players
The Patriot Way of the Gun
Great Odin Lloyd’s Raven
College Rapperneck
Guntfumble
Your Favorite Player’s CTE
Daddy Juice and The Girls
Hard Knockers
Mike Mayock’s Sthuper Sthtars
Garrett Reid Shooting Up the Depth Chart
God’s Tight End
Jovan Belcher’s High Powered Pistol Offense
A YOOOOGE TEAM
Bjorn Winner

Topical:

Purple Yeezus
Carlos Dangerzone
Shartnado
Pacific Trim
Whitlock’s Pulitzer

TV:

Hello Carol
Tread Lightly
Pizza Shrapnel
Frottage Is The New Black
Game of Sores
Washington Red Weddings
The Sea Tunts
DSVUIs
The Peles of Fetch

Random:

Lax Bro Butt Chugs
Righteous Chest Beefers
GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO
Flavor of the Mouth
Jurgen Klansman
Imagine Drag Queens
Hoochie Mane
Haters of the Lost Ark
Draft Punk
Sisqo’s Other Hits
Thundercunt Bitchquakes
French Ball Ticklers
Daddy Daydrunk
Anvilania Boring Goats
Splooge McFuck
Ghost Dog With a Blog
Double Meat Dinner

Fred Smoot division:

The Okra Patchers
Peppa Puddin
Double Dong Dare Ya

Peter King division:

The Nugget Barons
Eliteville Legitsman
Allagashholes
The Alleged Dillweeds
Wichita Neutral Fields
Uber Goobers
Lofty Shushers
MMBM
One-Man Horse Race
The Football Bonos