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Highlights From Episode Four Of Bengals ‘Hard Knocks’

By Christmas Ape / 08.28.13
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stagzimmer

It's nice of "Hard Knocks" to occupy some of vast amount of empty time for NFL fans in the final month before the season starts. The show is still a nice distraction and appointment viewing for any hardcore football fan. Still, it's hard to dispute that the last two seasons haven't gotten anywhere close to matching some of the best moments in the history of the series. I mean, it's hardly an accurate barometer of overall interest, but there were only a handful of readers taking part in our open thread about the episode last night. At least I feel comfortable enough to say interest in this season is tepid at best. That's right, lukewarm burns, "Hard Knocks".

Last night's show didn't do much to help. That a practice was rained out was a huge source of drama, albeit a nice reminder of how Mike Brown is cheap for not investing in a practice bubble for his team.

I did, however, enjoy that Mike Zimmer has a stag head on his office wall. A shame he never got to coach Jared Allen. They could bowhunt the NFL together.

On to the highlights, because if can't be bothered to watch the full episode, you can at least get some of the better moments.

Linebacker Jordan Campbell feels good having won an arm wrestling match against another one of the linebackers, then James Harrison steps in and ruins his shit. As it happens, it's the least violent James Harrison display of dominance since joining the league. Perhaps old age is mellowing him.

Jay Gruden ripped his team for a bad showing in practice. "Mickey Mouse Horseshit Football" is nice, but I'm still captivated how Jay and Jon Gruden have the same voice. I really want to know that they pulled phone pranks on each other's friend as kids.

Nice syncing of music with this receiver drill. If there were a certain type of movie, that would have been a segue into an elaborate musical number.

jheraniecut

Jheranie Boyd told a receptionist he is the only person in the world with his name. He knows because he Googled it. Hopefully that unique quality serves him well, because he ended up getting cut by a guy wearing sandals late in the episode. How horrible it must feel to have your dreams crushed by a schlubby dude in sandals?

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