Troy Polamalu missed Steelers practice on Sunday as a result of what Mike Tomlin called “a contusion of the birth certificate”, which apparently means because Polamalu is old and must be carefully used so as to ensure he gets his requisite six starts this season. Though I would have also accepted “sustained his 8,000th career concussion” to explain his absence.

– Bryan Bulaga is believed to have torn his ACL, which would put him out for the season. RIP Aaron Rodgers.

– Meanwhile, Vince Young is getting a tryout with the Packers. Things are shaping up quite nicely for future Green Bay schadenfreude.

poonster-teabag-shocker

– A Poonster, Shocker and Teabag customized jersey sighting at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Sadly, no players with those names made it into the Hall this year, but that’s just because, as with wide receiver, there’s a logjam for porny names vying for enshrinement at the moment.

– Riley Cooper has claimed to reporters that he was unaware that the video of him being racist existed before it was posted online, but now the people who were selling the video to blogs are saying they reached out to Cooper several times and even got blocked by him on Twitter.

– It was revealed by NBC during the Hall of Fame Game broadcast that Cris Carter’s first name is actually Graduel. While they were at it, they could have gagged on Mike Wallace, whose first name is Burnell.

– Is KSK having a live chat during the first “Hard Knocks” episode tomorrow night? Why, yes. Yes we are.