brownsdie

Scott E. Entsminger, a 55-year-old Ohioan who died on the Fourth of July, had the following printed in his obituary in the Columbus Dispatch:

A lifelong Cleveland Browns fan and season ticket holder, he also wrote a song each year and sent it to the Cleveland Browns as well as offering other advice on how to run the team.

The “as well as” part makes me sad. If there’s anything an NFL team executive craves, it’s to have fans giving suggestions through song.

He respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time.

Sadder than the man whose obituary claimed that Chiefs fandom killed him? Debatable, but it’s certainly more trite. I do like this part, though:

The family also encourages everyone to wear their Cleveland Browns clothing to the service in honor of Scott.

NOW EVERYONE CAN LET HIM DOWN!

— The NFL is reportedly considering not inviting academically ineligible players to take part in the combine. They will stop this once Greggggg Easterbrook petitions Goodell with the fact that it will increase the glory boy potential of undrafted free agent tight ends.

— Lawrence Taylor’s son was arrested on statutory rape and sodomy charges in Georgia. Let this be a lesson that we’re gonna have to keep an eye on Ben Roethlisberger’s kid.

— The ACLU has wormed its way into the Aaron Hernandez case, because of course it has.

— Dannell Ellerbe said he was brought to the Dolphins to help knock the Patriots off. Indeed, his is a novel type of NFL contract in which the player is encouraged to take the remaining 14 games off. We’ll see how it shakes out.

— Josh Brent is free from jail for the time being, barring another failed test for marijuana or, y’know, conviction for intoxicated manslaughter. Nevertheless, he remains on the Cowboys roster.