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"LOLNFL: Mandatory Minicamping"
Despite the evidence, the player denied juicing.
“This is the worst case of OTA Elephantiasis we’ve ever seen.”
-Falcons Training Staff
“Osi; your mom told you not to swallow your gum!”
Whitlock: Where’s Wallace?
Wallace: I hate gay people.
One of these days, I expect to see the headline “Tebow Stunned to Discover He’s Actually Right Handed”
I’m surprised that its never been publicly considered if maybe Jesus told him that he should be a lefty and he’s just been going with it ever since.
A reporter needs to ask Tebow this question immediately. If only for the hilarity to ensure when he tries to throw with his right.
Jesus, Stabby, that’s good enough to be an Onion headline.
I am all for popularizing this… some kind of etherwebtube campaign.
Tebow: “Jesus cursed me by being left handed and giving me this lisp.”
New JackLinks ad campaign: Messin with Tebow
I am pretty sure that Jason Whitlock choking to death would lead to actual peace negotiations between Israelis and Palestinians.
And it would involve a large piece of steak becoming lodged in the esophagus.
“Alright, Tim, here’s the motion. Don’t stand in profile – keep your chest square with the line of scrimmage through the throw. Don’t keep the ball close to your ear-hole; that kind of thing is why Marino never won a Super Bowl. You want to keep the ball either behind and away from your head, cocked so that only the strength of your fingers is keeping the ball in your hand (you’ll need your wrist, forearm, elbow, and shoulder for other stuff), or down low by your stomach where it’s safe. Now, I want you to imagine that your right foot has just slipped on a patch of ice or a banana peel, and with your right hand play an invisible saxophone. With your left foot, I want you to try to jump up a bit as if you’re catching a slightly over-thrown baseball. Then stare directly at your target and fire away! Now you’re getting it!”
As funny as UM is, nothing can beat that for the sheer awe of how bad and hilarious that is.
Every time I see Timmy throw I hear Yakity Sax.
That last slide is Osi, he’s probably just trying to keep the poop in.
#2 is almost perfect.
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