paula deen riding butter
At this point you probably don’t need a mock draft to hire Paula Deen as your personal chef.

Another week, another draft topic from the brilliant mind of Zack. The idea this time around is to draft your own personal chef. You can pick anyone you’d like, whether they’re a celebrity chef with a restaurant empire, or somebody who actually cooks food for a living.

Whoever you choose would have to put their other concerns aside, and be at your beck and call. You can cook with them (free cooking lessons!) or sit back and relax while they make you an omelet on command. Then if they do it wrong you can throw it at their head like you’re some British asshole.

he can double as a baby sitter

With the first pick in the draft I’ll take Bryan Voltaggio. He’s pretty big time these days, but he’s not that far removed from his time in the kitchen. He also possesses the cuisine versatility you look for in an early-round selection.

Top image via Paula Deen Riding Things, Voltaggio image via WaPo.