kraftsocket

Vladamir Putin’s office is issuing denials that the Russian president acquired his Patriots Super Bowl ring through any other means that it being willfully surrendered by Patriots owner Robert Kraft. Certainly not stolen. Nyet. The account of events that I’m most likely to believe is that of the animators at NMA Media, who portray Putin as having acquired the ring by ripping Kraft’s arm clean from the socket. An extra nice touch is that Kraft is shown constantly bleeding from the shoulder at all subsequent appearances. Not sure how one person can have enough blood to be bleeding all the time and still live, but Kraft is wealthy. I assume he could make it happen.