chadslap

TMZ has a GIF of the ass-slap that earned Chad Johnson 30 days in jail. Gotta say, I’m disappointed that it’s such a meek little tap. If that ass slap is getting you jail time, you’d better put some English on it. Not great hustle at all.

torreymt

– Torrey Smith took engagement photos at M&T Bank Stadium of him doing the Ray Lewis spastic dance with his fiancee in the end zone. Bet I know who’s cutting the cake at that ceremony.

– Wes Welker says he can be more like himself with the Broncos than the Patriots. So if Welker does have a letdown season or get hurt, look for the sycophantic football media to point to it as an example of how the Patriots being miserable and fun-hating is good for business.

gronkshave

– Gronk got his head shaved at a charity benefit for kids with cancer over the weekend. That should buy him enough goodwill for two more off-season surgeries.

– Larry Foote said the Steelers should have gone 12-4 but instead they lost a bunch of close games and wah wah wah whatever. To be honest, if I were player, I’d give out quotes like this every so often just to see if I could get some super serious NFL talking head to say “YOU ARE WHAT YOUR RECORD SAYS YOU ARE!” on TV.