Darnell Dockett is one of the few necessary NFL player follows on Twitter. When he plays around, he’s actually funny. He hits on the girlfriends of other athletes on social media and invites them to hang with him at strip clubs. Most importantly, he doesn’t spend all his time trying to convince the world how hard he’s working out and preparing for the next game.

On Wednesday night, apropos of whatever impulse was running through his head at the moment, Dockett let the world know that his personal weapons cache is completely on the level and aboveboard with the authorities. Just a good thing to establish. Naturally, no good arsenal is complete without a hand grenade. Dockett has one of them. Yup, a hand grenade. Clearly, he’s kidding. Okay, hopefully he’s kidding. After all, Dockett does own an alligator and that’s basically the hand grenade of pets. It is probably safe to assume he’s joking. I would only feel differently if he lived in Texas. I assume they sell grenades at gas stations in Texas. Right there on the swiveling racks with the sunglasses.

Also, for the good of everyone, Dockett and Tyrann Mathieu need to hang out more.