A coach in the Legends Football League (nee Lingerie Football League) is featured in a video, promoted by the league itself, where he’s chewing out his players at halftime using naughty words and filth flarn filth. I guess it’s meant to show that this league is SERIOUS and not just for leering. If he threw more stuff at the players (or anyone cared about the league) people might compare him to Mike Rice. Instead, folks are mostly like, “Why is he getting all upset? It’s just the Lingerie League” and “I hope he yells those girls’ phone numbers at the camera.” I’ll withhold any further commentary beyond my enjoyment of people being berated.

— Jerome Simpson had two pairs of Jordans and a $600 tea set stolen from his porch in his ritzy neighborhood. Frankly, I’m much more surprised about the Jordans. Everyone knows you don’t just leave nice tea sets sitting around in an upscale neighborhood.

— Colt McCoy said he’s glad to be with the 49ers, which is an organization committed to winning, as opposed to the Browns, which is an efficient Factory of Sadness.

— There was speculation that the 2013 NFL schedule was to be released on Tuesday, but that’s turned out to be inaccurate and that Tuesday will remain another in a series of soul-crushing, uneventful off-season days.

— The Texans cheerleaders did Fandango’s dance during practice. Wait, cheerleaders like pro wrestling? See, we can totally hang out in the basement. Doesn’t have to be my mom’s basement. Your call, ladies.

— The NFL is super committed in improving the stadium experience for fans. Apparently part of that initiative is allowing video boards at stadiums to encourage cheering throughout plays. Well, that settled. Take my $10,000 in PSL money now.

— Seneca Wallace signed with the Saints to back up Drew Brees. Or rather, to provide linemen a glimpse of the horrors if they allow Drew Brees to get injured.