Oh, lookie here. There’s a mock-up of Arrowhead Stadium at the Legoland in Kansas City. Legos are goddamn expensive and I have no idea why. The same is true of are football tickets, so I guess it’s a fitting combination. My one gripe: where’s the fat Lego version of Andy Reid? Even if Lego doesn’t make a fat guy body type, you could stick a head on top of couple rows of bricks stacked together and put up a big walrus mustache. Also, it would be nice if Lego made smaller hands for the Alex Smith figure.
– Details about the Jags new uniforms. Apparently they’re taking a big military approach (so rare for the NFL). This includes putting the player’s name under the logo patch on the front of the jersey, to mimic the look of a military uniform. That’s some nice honoring our troops, Jaguars. Also nice that it was further piss off old fogies who say that uniforms shouldn’t have players’ names on them. Jacksonville has it twice!
– Clay Matthews’ new contract extension is $66 million over five years, making him the highest paid linebacker in football. It’ll be nice if this new windfall means he’s not in every other commercial during the NFL season.
– Barry Sanders and Adrian Peterson are the two finalists for the cover of the next Madden game. Pretty much has to be Purple Jesus after the season he had last year, but I have no issue with Sanders winning, for no better reason than it’ll be a year without a mention of the Madden Curse, which totally killed Megatron last year.
– A few months into his comeback bid and 40 pounds lighter, JaMarcus Russell looks like a cross between Kimbo Slice and LeBron James, with a dash of hobo Ed Reed. At this rate, he should look like a serviceable quarterback round about…[checks watch] never.
– Brent Celek claims that Chip Kelly’s offensive schemes are going to change the face of the NFL forever. You’d say nice things too if coach were buttering you up with personalized fruit smoothies after practice.
– This year’s leaked shitty Wonderlic scores belong to receivers Cordarrelle Patterson (11) and Tavon Austin (7). Considering Morris Claiborne posted an all-time low score of 4 last year and was still drafted sixth overall, I doubt it’s much of a concern.
– A quarterback guru claims he fixed Tim Tebow’s stupid throwing motion with Tai Chi. Unless that translates to “Jesus” in Chinese, even Tebow doesn’t believe that’ll work.
– Jermichael Finley is donating $500 for each dropped pass this season to a Boston relief fund. Welp, looks like relief efforts are fully financed. Let the recovery begin!
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.