The offseason sucks. We’re scanning headlines to find out where middling punters are signing. We read entire posts about James Harrison maybe possibly kinda wanting to sorta come back to the Steelers, I mean, that is, if they like him because he’s totally cool where he’s at but just… you know… if they’re interested. It’s months of passive posturing and hand wringing, where the most exciting thing is the failure of hilariously outdated office equipment. Admit it, you know how many days are left until your team’s voluntary offseason workouts begin. Congratulations, you have a mental countdown for when a bunch of dudes are going to do pull-ups and play catch. March is such a sh*tfest in the NFL.

But as athletes come back from awesome vacations they’ve made sure to painstakingly document on Instagram, they’re going to need some food to get back in the training mood. After all, those mesh shorts aren’t going to put themselves on. Today’s recipe is for a ham and vegetable quiche – high in protein, and wonderfully customizable with a myriad of tasty options for filling. It’s a fairly simple process: whip up a custard, chop up some fillings, and pour into a pie shell. You are free to experiment with your own filling here, though spinach and onions are certainly the more common ingredients. Here’s what you’re going to need, broken down by custard, filling, and crust.

For the custard, you will need:

1 ½ cups of milk
4 tbsp cream
4 large eggs

This should be simple – whisk together those ingredients in a bowl. Pay close attention to your egg to milk ratio, too much of one or the other will negatively impact your quiche. Use more egg if you’d like a firmer custard. Remember, a good quiche is solid, yet will slightly quiver at the touch.

Next up, we’ll put together our filling. Like I said before, there’s a lot you can do here. For simplicity’s sake, we’re going to go with ham, vegetables, and cheese.

You will need:

1 package of ham
1 container of cheddar cheese
½ cup of peas and carrots

Go ahead and slice up the ham. Keep the cubes small. Set all of this aside and move on to the crust.

The crust can obviously be made from scratch, and when you do, make sure that you pre-bake it first. If you’re pressed for time, there’s perfectly decent pre-made options out there. For today, we’ll be making our own. What I’ve made here a thicker crust with cinnamon and sugar. This crust will hold liquid well, and I’ve made sure to include high sides to keep in all of our fixin’s.

With the crust taken care of, we simply need to layer in the ingredients. First off, we’ll put in our filling. The custard will seep around it and fill in any holes we make. Toss in the ham, cheese and veggies now. Be sure to layer these evenly.

Take the custard from before and fill in the spaces left over. You should get something resembling this.

Next, we’ll take our quiche and put it in the oven for 30 minutes at 375 degrees. The edges should become crispy and the center will firm up considerably. Keep an eye on it and don’t let it burn – when you remove it, the middle may seem soupy. That will change when it’s cooling down, and more so if you refrigerate it after it cools.

Serve with a thoughtful garnish. As you can see, I chose a sweetened meat for a fun Easter theme.

Thanks to noted food humorist Spilly for helping us out today. You can find his previous works here. If you still have an appetite, my post for Pizza Sloppy Joes can be found here.