Oh hey, baseball is back. To celebrate, here’s a criminal in Perth running through a glass door while trying to escape with a stolen purse. HAPPY OPENING DAY! Idiotic, perhaps, but easily more exciting than any moment in a baseball game this year.

— RGIII’s recovery is still said to be going ahead of schedule and he is expected to resume on-field running as early as next week, according to his dad. At this rate, I expect someone from his camp to announce he’ll be starting Washington’s preseason opener before the draft.

— Speaking of Redskins quarterbacks who suffered a gruesome injury, Joe Theismann reached out to Louisville’s Kevin Ware after the guard’s leg disintegrated in the Elite 8 game versus Duke on Sunday. I like that Theismann’s current purpose is being an ambassador for the gravely injured.

— The NFL subreddit went with an XFL theme for April Fools Day. Nice premise and there are some solid gags in there as well. While not exactly XFL-themed, I’m a big fan of the Peyton Manning-as-a-jet image posted.

— DeSean Jackson posted a list of Instagram rules for men on his account. More specifically, skeevy men who use Instagram to holler at chicks when they’re already in a relationship.

— Turf Show Times ‘shopped a picture of Jeff Fisher onto the painting that Jake Long got for his wife for the couple’s first wedding anniversary. This was done as a joke for the lengths the Rams went to to court Long in free agency, though I had it has the unintended consequence of beginning an “Unsettling Jeff Fisher in paintings” meme.