Name: Tavon Austin
Weight: 174 lbs
Position: Wide receiver, kick returner and occasional running back
Rivals.com position: “Athlete”
College: West Virginia
Awesome fellow Mountaineers: Steve Slaton, Don Knotts and Billy Mays
High school: Dunbar (Baltimore)
Awesome fellow Poets: Mugsy Bogues, Tupac Shakur and Prop Joe
Reported Wonderlic score*: Touchdown + point after
*which I don’t really care about, but here are everyone’s scores because pageviews.
Which makes him: KING OF WEST VIRGINNY
Major: Athletic coaching education
That’s a major?: It’s West Virginia
Didn’t you take basketball coaching at Pitt? Yeah, but I didn’t major in it.
Probably because you dropped out: THIS ISN’T ABOUT ME.
Noteworthy combine results: 4.34 40 yard dash, 4.01 20 yard shuttle
What his tweets tell us: He would make a great travel writer.
Newark, NJ look and feel just like Baltimore!!! Hood
— Tavon Austin (@Tayaustin01) April 14, 2013
Appropriate song that accompanies his YouTube highlight video: “Get Right” by Young Jeezy
Bermanesque Nickname: South By South West Virginia
Nicest comparison: A less dickish DeSean Jackson
Self-comparison: Reggie Bush
Meanest comparison: Titus Young, in response to that tweet about the Reggie Bush comparison.
Second round pick comparison: Randall Cobb
Strengths: Sick nasty open-field speed
Loved by: Bob Stoops, who called his performance against Oklahoma one of the best he’s ever seen
Hated by: Would-be tacklers
What scouts are saying:
Where he’ll go: OK, enough of this shit. Nobody knows where ANYBODY is going. If somebody tells you that they know where anyone is going you should spit in their face. But don’t count out the Jets!
Impact: Shitty offense becomes feared offense.
Word cloud magic via Wordle.net
I want more like this!
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