Dr. James Andrews told the media that Robert Griffin III’s recovery from recent knee surgery is “superhuman“. Were you not aware of RGIII’s mutant healing factor? That’s right. He’s like Black Wolverine, if Wolverine were really polite and made sure to say all the right things. RGIII spent some of the weekend at the circus, where he tossed footballs to an elephant. Yet another super power! It’s clear RGIII has superhuman empathy with animals, like that South American kid from Captain Planet. Sure, that’s the lamest of the Planeteer powers. It would be more useful if more NFL teams had animal mascots roaming the sidelines.

Finally, RGIII has superhuman bravery because he allowed himself to be photographed wearing this.