The combine sucks. People get all worked up over it, but the drills and measurements are horribly boring. That’s why we’re going to draft new tests, drills and/or measurements to liven things up a bit and tell us more about these potential NFLers. You can pick an individual test to be given to each Combine invitee or something more position specific.
1. Flubby: Raiders of the Lost Ark-style boulder chase
2. CC: Kitten toss
Like an egg toss, but with kittens.
3. Sarah: Assemble a large piece of IKEA furniture
4. Ape: Voight-Kampff
Always suspicious of replicants and cyborgs.
5. UM: Human maze
Complete with of obstacles, pitfalls and surprise tackles.
Round 1 recap: Hey, this was nice and easy. No arguments or anything. Not even over whether or not Deckard is a replicant or not (neither answer is correct, Ridley). We started off with a potentially deadly challenge and followed up with one that will drive PETA insane. So yeah, two good picks there.
6. Catfish hunter
Each player sits down at a computer where they start chatting with somebody over social media. They have a set amount of time to determine if the person is a real groupie or a guy.
7. Ape: Kobayashi Maru test
So fun to watch players go through a test they cannot win.
8. Sarah: Mario 64
How many of the secret 120 stars can they find playing through Mario 64.
9. CC: Dodgeball
5-10 draft prospects per side in a high school gymnasium. Excellent way to evaluate fast-twitch responses, strength, and hands.
10. Flubby: All draft-eligible QBs have to throw a football into an over-sized Alamo Beer can
Like on the Don Meredith episode of King of the Hill.
Round 2 recap: I went the topical route, while Ape maintained his sci-fi cred. Sarah picked a game that came out when these pro prospects were four years old. It would be pretty funny watching them try to negotiate that controller, but I may have gone with a GoldenEye tournament. Matt’s idea would probably make for the best television of any pick in this round, which just makes me wonder how celebrity dodgeball hasn’t become a thing. What would you rather watch, Louie Anderson diving into a pool, or Louie Anderson’s face filled up with a red rubber ball (in a non-sexual way)?
Make your picks in the comments.
I want more like this!
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