Most of what’s going on in the NFL this week is the dissemination of contract details and rumors of deals to come. Teams be transactin’. That doesn’t make for great visuals, so here’s a kangaroo beating the piss out of a toy hippo. I like to think of the dog sitting near him as his manager. I also like the motor shown by the kangaroo. Good chance the Dolphins give him $45 million guaranteed.
– Bill Belichick held a Twitter Q&A using his girlfriend’s account. In the future, if your wife starts sending out terse, misanthropic tweets to NFL reporters, there’s a better than fair chance that Grumblelord is plowing her.
– The latest Mike Florio trolling involves not very subtly implying that Percy Harvin has been faking his history of migraines to cover for a poor attitude or a desire to dog it in practice. Personally, I think Florio’s assholery is just a thinly veiled cover for the ravages of Feline AIDs to his brain.
– Speaking of Harvin, his jersey number will be 11 with the Seahawks, as the team retired the no. 12 to honor the many Seahawks fans who died stealing their fan base nickname from Texas A&M.
Dansby said to @sidrosenberg he missed Jeff Ireland’s call while working out, then found out by text message & watching ESPN that he was cut
— Ben Volin (@BenVolinPBP) March 13, 2013
– Karlos Dansby was working out when Jeff Ireland tried to call him and tell the linebacker he was being released, so instead Dansby found out via text messages and the TV gym. I just like to think he ignored Ireland’s call because no one wants to talk to Jeff Ireland.
– The Bears have yet to extend a counteroffer to Brian Urlacher. The silent treatment is nice, but to be really mean, they should just send him this GIF:
– The Ravens are in talks with James Harrison’s agent. Yet they released Bernard Pollard. Very mysterious strategy. Either you become head-hunting Voltron or you don’t. Can’t half-step.
– Mitch Berger appeared on this week’s episode of “Millionaire Matchmaker”. You may recall him as a punter of not particularly great skill or renown. But the host of the show speculated that Berger has a huge cock, so he has that going for him.
– A list of fake Twitter accounts of NFL reporters so you won’t be one of those rubes who falls for reports of a Adrian Peterson-Matt Cassel trade.
– The Steelers cut tackle Willie Colon. Of course they waited until the first time he played more than one game in a season for the first time since 2009. Oh, the pain of never getting to block for Bruce Gradkowski.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.