DAGGONE TORNAYDEES DONE SWEPT THRU MAH TOWN. TORNAYDEES IS POWERFUL SCARY. WHEN DEY WAS BARING DOWN, I RAN INNA MAH CELLAR AND JUMPED UNNER A MESS ‘A BEANBAG CHAIRS. YOU KNOW WHYS I LIKE BEANBAG CHAIRS? CAUSE THEY AIN’T FANCY LIKE REGGALAR CHAIRS, PLUS IF YOU PUT ‘EM TOOGETTER, THEY LOOK LIKE A COUPLE SAGGY BALLS. HOOOOOOO WEEEEEEEEE, THAT MAKE ME LAUGH.

IT SEEM LIKE OL’ BRITTFAR WAS DOWN IN DAT CELLAR FOREVER. I WAS A-FEARED I BE BLOWED AWAY TO DA PLACE DAT LITTLE GIRL AND HURR DOGGIE WENT, WID DA TALKING LION, DA STRAW FELLER AND DA FLYIN’ KNEEGRAHS. BRITTFAR IS JUST FINE WHERE HE BE, COACHING UP THE YUNG FOKE HOW TO HAVE FUN OUT DERE AN’ IGNORE THE UNNERNEATH SAFETY. AIN’T NO TORNAYDEE A-TAKIN’ ME AWAY FROM DAT.

DA GUUD NEWS IS DA TORNAYDEE MOSEYED ON DOWN DAT ROAD BEFORE CAVING IN MAH ROOF. DA BAD NEWS IS SOME OF MAH KIN FOKE AIN’T SO FORTUNEET. DAY BREE IS LITTERED ALL OVER DA STREET. DA BIDNESS COMMUNITY IS HURT. EIGHT METH LABS WAS TAKEN OUT. ONLY 20 IS LEFT. WE GONNA REBOWN THO. YOU HURD IT HURR.

I SAID TO MAHSELF, “BRITTFAR, YOU GOTSTA HELP DA TOWN FOKE. THEY DONE SO MUCH FOR YEWWWW. THEY LET YOU COACH UP DERE KIDS EVEN THO YOU MADE PEENIE PITTCHURS WITCHUR PHONE.” SO I GRAB UP MAH SAW AND GOT AT DEM TREES. YEAH, I’S KNOW DIS SAW AIN’T GOT NO TEETH, BUT NEITHER DID MY MAMA BUT SHE DID THE BEST SHE COULD AND I BE DARNED IF SHE DIDN’T GIT MORE GOV’MINT ASSISTANCE THAN ANY WOMAN IN DA COUNTY.

DAYUM. DIS SHORE IS TUFF.

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