Manti Te’o posted a 4.81 40 time and weighed in at a less-than-expected 241 lbs at the combine. That’s okay. Being slow isn’t that much of a liability trying to defend the read-option, right? I’m sure two more months of Peter King talking him up will convince the Bengals to take Te’o at 21. The Ravens also look very impressed.
People are still wondering aloud if Te’o is gay. Mike Florio says a player’s sexuality shouldn’t matter, but it just does, which he apparently considers to be sufficient justification to keep speculating on the matter. That’s sound troll logic.
But it’s no fun to focus just on the trolls. You gotta get the meme reaction, too. Here’s one I cribbed from Ufford’s idea:
— Party time has started at Gronk’s new $1.6 million home in Tampa, yet Gronk is nowhere to be seen. That’s kind of sad, until you remember that Gronk’s home exists in a permanent state of party, so he’s not missing all that much.
— Animated GIF of Roger Goodell as Judge Dredd because of draconian overreaches of authority and such.
— George Clooney told Ed Reed at the Oscars the safety made his Bengals super sad with losses over the years and that bummed the actor out. In other news, here’s a terrible post marveling about how “uncool” it is for Clooney to be a Bengals fans, even though he has obvious local connections to their home market.
— The Jaguars are installing a hybrid position on defense for next year that is “part defensive end, part outside linebacker and all pass rusher” and calling it Leo, which I believe is Latin for “tweener”.
— British teenagers talk about their impressions of the NFL, most of which are “it’s a bit loooyk rugby, buh dif’rint”. Sad that these kids aren’t fans of the Stripey Wotsits.
— Joe Philbin reportedly doesn’t think much of Greg Jennings as a football player, which could be true or just another FREE AGENCY SMOKESCREEN! Either way
— Jerry Jones wants to know if the world would give him credit if the Cowboys ever win another Super Bowl during his ownership. I’ll say yes, but only so he’ll keep doing the dumb shit that derails the franchise.
— Several reasons why Doopy Pantz should be the first Browns quarterback to start back-to-back opening days since Charlie Frye in 2007. But I’ll save you time by boiling them all down to “ehhhhh, I guess it’s possible to do worse.”
I want more like this!
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