Name: Chance Warmack
High school weight: 350 (!)
Physique: Not sloppy fat, just proud of his prosperous belly.
Major: I said he went to Alabama. ROLL TIDE!
If Wikipedia is to be believed: He was high school teammates with Cam Newton.
Meme-worthiness: Warmack, known for wearing his jersey rolled up on his belly wants “Warmacking” to become a thing. The preemptive fine from the NFL will put a belly button sized dent in his signing bonus.
Best anecdote ever relayed: Take it away, USA Today.
The signature burger at Mugshots Grill and Bar is three all-beef patties, six strips of bacon, three slices of cheese — your choice, cheddar or American — along with tomatoes, pickles, lettuce and red onions, all layered on four bun slices, everything slathered in mayonnaise and mustard.
The challenge, should you choose to accept, is to devour the entire Mugshot — approximately 2½ pounds, post-cooked weight, and that’s not counting the accompanying large order of fries, an onion ring and a fried pickle — in 12 minutes. Clearly, this is not a task for the faint of heartburn, but finish it and the food is free.
Chance Warmack ate two.
THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE.
Potential Berman nicknames: Honestly, both of his names already sound like nicknames. I’m sure Berman will still come up with something. My money is on, “The Gardner.”
Nicest comparison: Carl Nicks
Colorblind comparison: Marshal Yanda
Comparison independent of position: Vince Wilfork. So athletic, so well-rounded.
Strengths: Athletic, agile and technically sound
Weaknesses: Blocking the bull rush, belly shirts
Loved by: Todd McShay
Hated by: Equipment managers
What scouts are saying:
Who wants him: Pragmatic fans of teams drafting in the 8-12 area.
Who will take him: A team drafting between 15-20.
Why: Because he’s a guard and conventional wisdom and blah blah blah.
Immediate impact: Becomes a starter and immediately improves his team’s running game by about .3 yards per carry.
Down the road: Multiple Pro Bowls and his own line of belly rub.
I want more like this!
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