Action started with a Danieal Manning 94-yard opening kick return to set Houston set in the New England red zone. Matt Schaub could do nothing with the opportunity save overthrow Andre Johnson by about 10 feet. The Texans took their field goal then went about the usual business of underwhelming everybody.

Danny Woodhead and Gronk left the game early with injuries. For Pats fans, spotting the opposition two white skill players is the ultimate kindness. If the Texans could actually muster enough points to win this game, I’m sure there would be protestations that the Super Bowl shouldn’t count this year since little fackah Woodhead didn’t play.

Not that it matters because the Texans have been occupied sh*tting the bed through critical drops and other assorted mistakes. The Texans D has at least been slightly less porous this time around. It took a few Patriots possessions before Shane Vereen could dice the Houston defense and take it into the end zone for the game’s first touchdown in the final minute of the first quarter.

Vereen and the Pats were close to adding another touchdown minutes into the second quarter, but Brandon Lloyd was flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct for flinging the ball at a ref following an incompletion. It looked like a pretty normal act by Lloyd, but the ref dropped it. B-Lloyd might have been flagged because a ref couldn’t catch. Unfair, but an amusing officiating derp nonetheless.

A bomb to Wes Welker set up another Vereen touchdown to put the game seemingly out of reach at 17-3. Houston finally got Arian Foster going on their last drive before half, and he got in on a run that may or may not have actually been a touchdown. Judging from his expression, Arian was less than sure himself.

Shayne Graham (!!!) hit a 55-yarder in the closing second to make it a four-point game. This game may not be quite as entertaining as the other three this weekend, but it’s not bad and apparently getting better. Might still have been better than anything other than Seahawks-‘Skins from Wild Card weekend.