- Adrian Peterson has declared he’s going to “play hard in the Pro Bowl” in a few weeks. As the voice behind Save The Pro Bowl, I find this development absolutely delightful. It’s the Pro Bowl, so there is a good chance he can go for 2000 yards in a single game.
- The Dallas Cowboys were forced to the Dallas Stars after Tweeting that no one cared about the NHL being back.
.@dallasstars our sincere apologies for the inappropriate tweet posted accidentally to our account. Good luck this season.
— Dallas Cowboys (@dallascowboys)
The Stars accepted the apology, but not before pointing out that #9 Tony Romo has yet to bring the city a championship, unlike former Stars #9 Mike Modano.
- Rex Ryan answered questions about the tattoo of his wife in a Mark Sanchez jersey which only came to light after he went full-Belichick with his fashion choices while on vacation in the Bahamas.
“Yeah there was a question is that a real tattoo or not. And I’ll keep you guessing,” Ryan said a little sheepishly. “It’s funny, it’s actually a tattoo I’ve had going on three years now. I know what you’re thinking — obviously if Sanchez doesn’t play better that number is changing. That’s pretty much a given.
“But, no, I’ve been married 25 years and through my eyes my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. So that’s what it is.”
Man loves wife. Man gets tattoo of wife. Man tells entire rabid football population that he thinks his wife is the prettiest woman in the world. If that isn’t the perfect NYT Modern Love story, I don’t know what is.
- Staying in New York, offensive coordinator Tony Sparano was fired today after failing to make the
wildcat anything work for the Jets this season.
- Dr. James Andrews is rolling back his comments about RG III’s knee injury. At this point, the only thing more shredded than the most talked about injury in football since Peyton Manning’s neck and head boo-boo is the truth about who knew what when in DC. Should make a good 30 for 30 in a few years. “What if I told you an NFL quarterback had no idea what was going on inside of his own body and was still allowed to play?”
- Jon Gruden decided to skip watching the BCS Championship game and instead hit WWE Raw instead to smell what the Rock was cooking or something along those lines. (We’re still traumatized after working a few WWE shows back at our old job in merchandising and don’t anything beyond Triple-H era wrestling. But if it’s good enough for the Gruden Grinder, it’s good enough for us.)
- Speaking of the BCS Championship, Arizona Cardinal Darnell Dockett caused a small stir last night during the game when he Tweeted at former Miss Alabama Katherine Webb and asked her if she wanted to go a Wing Stop. This wouldn’t be a big deal if she wasn’t in the stands watching her boyfriend, quarterback AJ McCarron, secure the win for Alabama. Frankly, it’s a little gross and Dockett should know better, but when you’re following the example of an oogling Brent Musburger playing the role of a dirty old man talking about a woman fifty years his junior — March-December romance? Doubtful, Brent — it’s hard to remember to stay within the bounds of good taste.
- And finally, Chris Kluwe will be on The Colbert Report tonight, presumably to further infuriate Vikings coaches who believe punters should be seen and not heard. Should be hilarious, especially since we’ll all be full of bourbon and wine from the “Justified” and “Cougar Town” season premieres. If you loathe yourself, Buzz Bissinger will be a guest on the Piers Morgan Show this evening for your daily cutting routine.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.