Welcome to HATE WEEK! The main event of Wild Card weekend is Seahawks-Redskins, and the biggest narrative will be the matchup between the NFL’s two best rookie quarterbacks, Robert Griffin III and Russell Wilson (try completing 50% of your passes, Andrew Luck). Everyone’s all “RG3 makes the Redskins likable now,” and that, my friends, is a goddam lie. The Redskins are unapologetically racist, and the fans are arguably the most insufferable in the NFL. Twenty reasons to hate ‘em:
1. Dan Snyder is friends with Jerry Jones.
2. Redskins fans are AWFUL. Even in a sport where every fan base is a mass of irrational homers, Redskins fans stand out as irrepressible boors incapable of reason. Don’t believe me? Follow our own Unsilent Majority or SB Nation’s Chris Mottram during a ‘Skins game: they transform from lucid and intelligent adults into bitch-fighting children for three hours. And they’re the good fans.
3. That time Dan Snyder sued a newspaper for saying mean (true) things about him. If you haven’t read Dave McKenna’s laundry list of ways that Snyder screwed over the team’s fans, now would be a good time to check it out.
4. The most racist name in sports. Pretend that slavery almost wiped out the black population in America. Now pretend that Washington named its football team the Washington N—ers. Not okay, right? The Redskins are just the same thing for Native Americans. It’s been offensive and unacceptable for so long that most people just shrug their shoulders, like, “Eh, nothing we can do.”
5. Dan Snyder openly lies about his team’s racist history.
Snyder, in the wake of his widely reviled defamation suit against the Washington City Paper, has been on a DC media charm offensive to tell his side of the story… In one interview, with Lavar Arrington, Mike Wise and others on 106.7 The Fan, Snyder really crossed the line from “charm offensive” to racist historical whitewash.
Part of Snyder’s suit against the City Paper is that a drawing of him was anti-Semitic. Mike Wise asked if this was a somewhat hypocritical given that he owns a billion dollar team named after a racial slur. Snyder responded,
“Obviously, you have not read some of the history of the Redskins and the name of the team and what it means,” he said. “What’s most important is that what the Redskins are all about is the tradition of the Redskins, fighting for old D.C., victory. The terminology of the Redskins is not meant to be offensive, and to compare that is silly.” [The Nation]
6. The Redskins were the last team in the NFL to integrate. Owner George Marshall — the man who changed the team name from Braves to Redskins — once said that he’d “start signing Negroes when the Harlem Globetrotters start signing whites.” [source]
7. George Marshall was basically Dan Snyder plus racism. When Marshall relocated the ‘Skins to D.C., they became the southern-most team in the NFL, and Marshall marketed the team to Southern racists, even changing the lyrics of the team’s fight song from “Fight for old D.C.” to “Fight for old Dixie.” Just read this whole thing.
8. An NFL team with a fight song.
9. Joe Theismann.
10. DC sports talk radio. I visited my sister, who lives in southern Maryland, over Christmas. When I borrowed her husband’s car, it was pre-set to sports talk and I listened for two minutes, long enough for my brain to liquefy. Never listen to DC sports talk radio. Those people make Paul Finebaum’s show seem thoughtful and well-reasoned.
11. Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon.
12. That time Mike Wilbon said he “wasn’t surprised” Sean Taylor got murdered. Thanks, Washington Post.
13. lol “head coach Jim Zorn”
14. This photo.
15. Snyder wants you to know he’s friends with Tom Cruise. Shorter than him, too.
16. Alan Greenspan was also in this luxury box. Not a joke.
17. RG3’s braids look stupid. Worst signature look this side of Anthony Davis’s unibrow.
18. FedEx Field. Drew said it best:
Going to FedEx Field is like traveling 30 years into the future to catch a glimpse of America’s eventual economic ruin. Biker gangs encircle you for minutes at a time. People are drinking pure ethanol. Women are tit-grabbed at every possible opportunity. It is perhaps the least welcoming environment on Earth. The stadium itself is a gravestone, a lifeless slab of concrete designed strictly with the mission of packing in as many sweaty bodies as possible, like the steerage cabin of a 19th century immigrant ship.
19. Mike Shanahan. Never forget that that hatchet-faced asshole ruined fantasy football.
20. Washington, D.C. Your friendly reminder that Congress and the Beltway are awful.
(Only twenty? Add more in the comments.)
I want more like this!
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