After the Ravens forced a quick end to the Colts’ opening drive, Baltimore drove deep into Indianapolis territory, where Ray Rice fumbled and the Colts recovered. Marshal Yanda came out of the pile with the ball, so Ravens fans are already claiming that the refs are screwing them. Though Mike Carey did refer to the Colts as “Indiana” on the ruling, so no matter what, there was some officiating derpiness.

A methodical drive by the Colts then followed, but it was curtailed on the Ravens’ side of the field when Paul Kruger stripped Andrew Luck and Baltimore recovered. If only Bruce Arians were in good enough shape to save Luck with endless bubble screens.

Phil Simms compared Andrew Luck to Ben Roethlisberger at one point in the first quarter. While announcers tend to do this anytime a burly white quarterback is able to break tackles from pass rushers, the comparison works beyond that since Luck and Ben are both lumpy dudes who sound dumb and they both enjoy sitting back in the pocket and letting the defense tee off on them.

At the start of the second quarter, Baltimore found itself again in scoring position. Joe Flacco tried to force it to a leaping Tandon Doss in the end zone on a third down, but it went off his hands. Speaking off right off the hands, the LEGEND Ray Lewis had an interception gift-wrapped to him at the Colts’ 30, but it went right off his knives for hands. That’s a shame. Indianapolis eventually tied it with a field goal of their own. But just inside the two-minute warning, the Colts somehow didn’t count on Ray Rice bailing out Joe Flacco for the millionth time this year. This time the big dumpoff gain set up a go-ahead touchdown by Vonta Leach. A catch and run by T.Y. Hilton gave Adam Vinatieri a shot from 52 yards, which he hit because he always does that this time of year.

And there was this dick. Not sure which is worse, the dance or the hat.