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Not So Fast, Gronk: A Definitive Gallery Of The NFL’s Biggest Meathead Brian Bosworth

By Burnsy / 12.12.12
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The NFL has been a little boring these past few weeks since party boy Rob Gronkowski broke his forearm, and seriously hurt my fantasy football team’s chances sending the league’s most lovable meathead to the sideline. But that hasn’t necessarily stopped him from being the guy that we’ve grown to expect in his three short seasons in the NFL, as he just shelled out a cool $1.6 million for a beach mansion in glorious Tampa, Florida, and I assume that he chose Tampa over the other cities in Florida where rich athletes actually live because nobody will care if he’s loud and obnoxious there, and he’s also within driving distance of Mons Venus. Basically, it makes perfect sense.

Aside from that, Gronk is also dipping into the acting game already, and it’s surprisingly not late night Cinemax. Actually, the Patriots star will soon be appearing in the Nickelodeon series NFL Rush Zone: Season of the Guardians, which I have never heard of. Long story short – I couldn’t help but notice how Gronk is turning into the man that Brian Bosworth should have been.

Gronk is a star player and he’ll soon be a star celebrity, whether he can actually act or not, because that’s how America works. And there’s no better example of this phenomenon than the Boz, because he was an awesome college football linebacker, thanks to steroids, and he went on to become one of the biggest busts in NFL history. But because he was a cocky meathead oozing with charisma which, in turn, made people fascinated by him, he was able to find success in terrible straight-to-video action films for the past two decades.

Even today, the Boz is going strong, as he has officially joined the cast of The Expendables 3, and that is probably the happiest film/sports hybrid news that I’ve read this year. So until Gronk is ready to accept his own role in Stone Cold 2: Attack on Lake Havasu and ultimately The Expendables 9, I felt like celebrating Brian Bosworth in this week’s Definitive Gallery.

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