Maybe it’s because I went to public school where the teachers didn’t care, but the last week leading up to Christmas I always associate with grade school days just before the Christmas break, when the teachers had nothing prepared and just wanted to kill time, so they either put on videos or hand out mindless activities to distract students. So it all fits together in my mind when I saw theScore put out its 2012 Sports Activity Book. It’s a mixed bag of sports references, but the NFL ones in there are quality. Sure, it’s a tone pretending to be for children, but that’s usually my level of mental engagement anyway.
— The Jets are reportedly going to try to trade Mark Sanchez after the season. Good luck finding someone willing to take on that albatross of a contract. The Jets might have to package a first-rounder WITH Sanchez just to get someone to take him. Meanwhile, the Michael Vick to the Jets rumors have started. Works for me. Vick with Rex would be appropriately shitshow-y.
— Eli Manning reached out to Peyton for advice on how to beat the Ravens. I presume the advice was either “let Joe Flacco try to out-elite you” or “just imagine they’re all in their underwear, Eli.”
— Tim Tebow apparently broke up with Camilla Belle probably because she realized she could be with some dude who fucks without having to pull a Ponder.
— That’s Joe Webb, Larry Dean and Jared Allen at the Vikings ugly sweater party. I am shocked that Jared Allen does not have a camo Santa suit.
— Kirk Cousins is ashamed of his new buzzcut. Sorry Redskins fans, no one is giving up a first-rounder for someone with a dumb haircut.
— Jerry Jones doesn’t believe the Week 17 meeting between the Cowboys and Redskins, which very well may decide playoff fates or even who wins the NFC East, will be flexed into the Sunday night slot. Because if there’s anything that Jerry Jones has been led to believe, it’s that the national media hates giving the Cowboys attention.
— Arian Foster gave Segways to his offensive linemen, starters and reserves. Not the gift I would have expected from crunchy vegan types. The fixie is usually the way to go for them.
— Meanwhile, Plaxico Burress bought customized Steeler bathrobes for Ben Roethlisberger and the rest of the Pittsurgh wideouts. He must think that he doles out a nice enough gift that the team will keep him around for next season. TROLL STAT: The Steelers are 1-3 since they brought Plax back. It’s totally his fault!
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.