When Sean Payton’s contract extension with the Saints was recently voided by the NFL, it was believed that the Cowboys and Eagles would spend the early part of the off-season wrangling to secure a coach to tell them to DO THEIR JOB. The talk of that has dissipated somewhat in the last few weeks, with other high-profile coaching candidates rumored to be considered for those jobs.

Up until now, none of that mattered, because there is a report, however questionable, that indicates that there is a strong possibility that Andy Reid could be the Cowboys coach next season, would just be so, so, so very tremendous. Even better than Andy Reid going to San Diego, which would also be pretty great, but not quite as hilarious as Andy Reid to Dallas. It would be like the most laughable qualities of Jason Garrett and Wade Phillips packed loosely into the bloboid frame of Andy.

Sadly, it appears that that Cowboys fan’s petition for Obama to remove Jerry Jones fell on deaf ears, unless our president is intent on indulging his more theatrical impulses and have Seal Team Six infiltrate Cowboys Stadium to extract Double J while he watches his team in a prime time game against a fellow woebegone NFC East team. I’m sure the makers of Zero Dark Thirty would appreciate the extra boast of promotion, if nothing else.