The Browns may have done away with the white flag giveaway that had everyone laughing at them for first time since the last hilariously awful thing they did. One thing the Browns didn’t cancel was the battle of the ancient quarterbacks. Yup, it’s still superannuated Charlie Batch versus super old rookie Brandon Weeden Doopy Pantz.


And this week, Batch will have a chance to throw to his newest oldest weapon, Plaxico Burress, who is only two years his junior. Meanwhile, Doopy Pantz is old enough to know that his team should practice routes before their receivers run them, which is wisdom apparently lost on Pat Shurmur.

Elsewhere, Jay Cutler makes his return from being concussed so he can be concussed again trying to stay upright behind the turnstile offensive tackles trying to block Jared Allen. And Dexter McCluster made the mistake of soliciting the opinion of a Chiefs fan before the condition of being a Chiefs fan led to their untimely demise.

Your early game slate, as rated for potential watchability by KSK’s patented four- and sometimes five-star system:

Minnesota at Chicago ***
Oakland at Cincinnati **
Pittsburgh at Cleveland **
Buffalo at Indianapolis **
Tennessee at Jacksonville *
Denver at Kansas City **
Seattle at Miami **
Atlanta at Tampa Bay ***