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The Best Moments From The Thanksgiving Games

By Christmas Ape / 11.23.12

The perfect Thanksgiving image is Jerry Jones gazing plaintively into the rain that he didn't expect to fall through the roof he left open as his team loses before a national audience. Okay, that image might not have anything directly to do with Thanksgiving itself, but it sure made my holiday.

Save most of the Patriots-Jets game, it was actually a riveting day of football. That's certainly not always the case on Thanksgiving. Even the late game had its the joys during the derpiest quarter in recorded history. Sure, Redskins-Cowboys only got minorly competitive late after Washington got a little too lax in garbage time, but I have no problem with a large helping of Dallas misery followed by a ultimately unsuccessful comeback bid just to take some of the wind out of the sails of Washington fans.

As for Texans-Lions, I think it was the game of the season so far. Granted, it started getting sloppy at the end of regulation and in overtime, but it was the kind of sloppy that involved grand feats of failure, not just agonizing sequences of three-and-outs.

Anyway, hope you had a good holiday and that Owen Daniels didn't take all the dark meat before he passed the plate. In case you had to take time to actually interact with loved ones and missed some stuff, it's all here.

Unfuckingbelievable

Yup, that's what Rex said after the Patriots gave up a second touchdown to the Patriots in the span of seconds in the second quarter. I would argue that that is remarkably believable behavior out of the Jets.

Andre Johnson, Y'all

Andre Johnson set an NFL record for more receiving yards in back-to-back games, which is nice and I tip my eating bib to him. But I'm mostly concerned with this insane catch and leap over a cameraman.

Catch POV

Another angle? Sure. Pile on the highlights.

Hooray, Stupid Rules

Other than Suh's crotch kick, the big takeaway from the early game was the stupid rule that kept the Lions from getting a review of Justin Forsett's touchdown run. Forsett was clearly down but Jim Schwartz threw the challenge flag before the automatic review, which not only draws a 15-yard penalty, but nullifies the automatic review, allowing the play to stand.

A couple things: that's the dumbest rule ever, so it's good that Peter King dropped the nugget this morning that it's already likely to be overturned after the season. That said, this same rule victimized Mike Smith less than a week ago, so it's extra stupid for Jim Schwartz not to be aware of it.

Gunther Cunningham is less composed

Lions defensive coordinator Gunther Cunningham took the penalty and the non-review not quite as graciously as Jim Schwartz. To be honest, this is much closer to how I would react. Of course, I might rip pages out of the binder with my teeth before punting it. Yup, I'd be a Jim Harbaugh-level ragey head coach.

Aqib Talib: P.E.D. Smurf

He's gonna have to keep his act together unless he wants Grumble Smurf to send him packing.

Awww Romo Has A Sad

Always thankful for Romo rage face after interceptions.

NO BRIAN HARTLINE REFERENCE!?

Less thankful for announcers making obvious comparisons to gritty players. Cowboys scrapper Cole Beasley made a few catches in a row and Joe Buck proceeded to compare him to the usual keepers of the white receiver archetype.

Brandon Pettigrew - Super Least

Last week, I pulled a trade in fantasy that allowed me to get rid of Brandon Pettigrew. And let me tell you, it feels GREAT. He's been so useless. He actually had a decent amount of yards for once last night, but certainly could have had quite a few more, and helped set his team up for victory, had he been able to haul this reception in late in the 4th quarter. Oh, he also fumbled in overtime, so way to go, buddy.

/gets hernia patting self on back

No Groin Is Safe

It wasn't just the groins being kicked by Suh. Groins were injuring themselves. Please nobody break a wishbone near Brooks Reed. That would be pretty fucked.

Tribute to Fapping Responders

The Jets had a tribute to the first responders to Hurricane Sandy. Naturally, I'm only interested in a GIF that makes it look like one of them was jerking it on the field. Because I'm a horrible person.

X-Lax

Some Jets fans would like to see Rex Ryan fired. Even though we enjoy Rex, can't blame them all that much at this point. Also, it was a pretty bad Thanksgiving for the Ryan family in general.

Dippy People Together For The Holidays

DeAngelo Hall and Dez Bryant really do deserve one another, so it's sad to see them engaged in pathetic fake fights after a play in the second half. No worries, FOX pointed that after a commercial break that the two were soon hugging, which is heartening. Because I'm sure if the two of them can stick it out, there's a horrible incident in a club that they could perpetrate as a duo.

J.J. Headshot

Most of the talk about dirty hits is gonna revolve around Suh, but this hit that J.J. Watt put on Matt Stafford was also pretty borderline and unflagged. It might have set up a winning score were it penalized. I don't really care either way, it just annoyed me how quick Phil Simms assured the audience that it was perfectly legal when it's obviously a bit questionable.

Vanden Drops

I'd hate to be a Lions fans for an endless number of reasons, but especially if I had to rewatch that game. Not only did they get dicked for seven points by the officials, miss a critical field goal and have Brandon Pettigrew spew ball on the field, but there was also stuff like this. Not to say Vanden Bosch absolutely must catch that, but it is one of the easier throws to catch that a defensive lineman is gonna have jammed at his face at close range.

Hypnosloth

Something so endearing about Vince Wilfork endlessly stuffing himself. I think he would prefer this not be a GIF and that he could spend eternity scarfing down turkey legs.

Haitians gonna Haish

RGIII had a very good game in the win over Dallas, even with the ugly interception that let the Cowboys back in the game in the second half. That back shoulder touchdown to Santana Moss right before halftime was a revelation. That said, the touchdown before that to Garcon was all the receiver, and a pretty damn impressive effort at that.

Dammit, Skins Fans

via

We try to feel good about Dallas losing at home to a division rival on Thanksgiving, and you ruin by doing more of this Griffining shit. C'mon, traffic on East Capitol St. Where are you when I need you?

Oh God, Can't Watch

Gary Kubiak couldn't bear to watch Shayne Graham's long field goal attempt in overtime. Graham missed it, of course. His second long critical miss in the last two games. Sadly, no smirking Chad Henne this time, but the terror from Kubiak of having to rely on Shayne Graham will have to do.

Tony Romo is not impressed with your Thanksgiving

Or he's just having one of those "WELP, I'm fucked" moments. I liked incorporating it into a meme, though.

Wrong Holiday, Sir

Though somewhat fitting if one considers the Lions overwhelming drive to give stuff away.

WTF

Not sure what Aldrick Robinson's touchdown dance was after the 'Skins first score of the game, but I'll allow it.

/has no authority to allow or disallow anything on an NFL field

Burly Ups

Burly guys hurdling defenders is always fun, though I can't help but think of someone trying to do this filled with food. Oop, getting sick.

You Poor Lions Fans

I know this isn't the NFL has tried to do to Detroit on purpose. As usual, Motor City, your beef is with God.

That Must Be It

Oh wait, no, it's not that the Lions have played a bunch of juggernauts on Thanksgiving. It's that they haven't been happy enough about it. Thanks, CBS!

So Happy To Look So Dumb

Dude could probably benefit from more tryptophan. That's more energy than that game required.

Awesome Stuff We Already Posted

Hey, leftovers! Because Thanksgiving jokes, amiright?


 

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