Ben Drinks And Drunks And Hurts Shoulder
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The Best Moments From Chiefs-Steelers

By Christmas Ape / 11.13.12
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Ben Roethlisberger's "unusually rapey" shoulder injury instantly became the takeaway from what started as a barely watchable game that only became more so once a backup quarterback got involved. Ufford joked at one point that the Steelers were conducting an experiment in how poorly a team can play and still beat the Chiefs. They could have pressed a little closer to the edge, I think. Maybe let Ryan Succop miss one in overtime as well? Letting Kansas City force overtime then have Cassel immediately give it away seems appropriate enough.

No better time for THE BEN to sustain an owie in his shoulderspot than with two games against the Ravens over the course of the next three weeks, not that that wasn't mentioned enough times during the second half. That's okay. Just wait until Baltimore's defense gets re-acquainted with Byron Leftwich's nine-second wind-up. They'll never know what hit him. Possibly because he'll never actually get a pass off.

Or I suppose there's 800-year-old Charlie Batch. He should be able to keep pace with an offense that put up 55 points last week. Don't sleep on Batch. He used to pick apart the Decatur Staleys with ease back during the Coolidge administration.

In his pregame taped sitdown with Mike Tomlin, Jon Gruden pressed the Steelers head coach to sum up his starting quarterback. "The ultra competitor" is how he described him, before launching into a bunch of stupid clubhouse games teammates get in that Ben joins as well. Roethlisberger bowls on the side! He's a born winner!

THE BEN ALSO NUMBER BEST AT CALL OF DUTY! BEN GOTS MUCH TIME TO PLAY WITH SHOULDER OWIE.

James Harrison will defend and tackle a receiver, even after he runs five yards out of bounds to make a catch. I think it's a testament to how terrifying James Harrison is that no Chiefs players even bother to get mad about him tackling a teammate practically on their bench. Though I'm most of them stopped caring weeks ago.

There should probably be a rule on the books that if a team is flagged for excessive celebration on a touchdown that gets waved off, they are absolved of the penalty as a result. I mean, I understand if there were a personal foul, that would be one thing. But that's a little draconian, even for Goodell's NFL. Anyway, the Chiefs returned what they thought was a Leftwich fumble to the end zone and did this group celebration. Of course, they got Tuck Ruled and then penalized to boot. Like that's getting reamed by two different commissioners.

Years later, Mike Wallace appears on commercials during the 2 a.m. SportsCenter hawking his Thighs of Steel workout program.

Cassel played slightly above his baseline of leastiness for a good portion of the night. He actually made a good throw to convert a 3rd and long to force overtime. Sadly, that portion of competence did not include overtime itself. Less than a minute in, he threw an interception to Lawrence Timmons on his own side of the field. He looks shocked, but I think he should be relieved he returned to normal.

Willie Colon was penalized in this game for swearing at a referee. Then the ESPN audio caught someone yelling LET'S RUN THE FUCKING BALL. It's great when on-field swearing is so evident that the announcers have to awkwardly gloss over it. That's the best.

From Sunday Soundtracks: Battleship Manning was actually forced to maneuver and slide at one point during Sunday's win over Carolina. Being an old model android with less advanced ambulatory technology, Peyton looks odd when he moves. Omar Bolden gave him some shit about it, which Pey-Pey took in stride. 'Cause he's got that Colorado weed, these days.

Duff Man

Cursing at a referee gets flagged. The Dunge smiles on his airy throne.

SonOfSpam

Shouldn’t a ridiculously-sized American flag NOT be flown horizontally in the rain?

clueheywood

Uh oh. The Chiefs are wearing patches saying “DTF.” This won’t end well.

Mike McCarthyism

Well of course they are undeterred by dampness, they carry fucking towels with them everywhere

Mike McCarthyism

Are they gonna talk about how the Steeler fans traveled to this game? Because their are probably less natives here than at Steeler road games.

JamaalCharlesRepairedKnees

The Kansas City Cheifs are petitioning the NFL to have all its future games played in the rain and with 40 deg kickoff temp. In other words they wish to move to London.

Old School Zero

Guys, what if this live blog is against the NFL’s consent? Do you think we’ll feel the strong, yet velvety smooth touch of the Ginger Hammer?

deadlydeadlyhawk

Only the offense may act like assholes after a score!

porkythefirst

It is the Leftwich, forged in darkness from wheat harvested in Hell’s half-acre, baked by Beelzebub, slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chicken forced into sauce by the hands of a one-eyed madman, cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a fanged cow, layered with six-hundred and sixty-six separate meats from an animal which has maggots for blood!

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