MEANWHILE, AT THE HOME OF THE SUPERFANS…

Big Poppa Pump: FELLOW SUPERFANS! A GREAT WRONG HAS BEEN COMMITTED! THE SUPERFAN KNOWN AS FIREMAN ED HAS ABDICATED HIS ROLE AS SUPERFAN! HE’S GONE BACK TO THE SIDE OF THE NORMALS!

[Flexes fat]

All: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

License Plate Asshole: HE TOOK AN OATH!

All: AN OATH! AN OATH!

License Plate Asshole: ONCE A SUPERFAN, ALWAYS A SUPERFAN! THAT IS OUR WAY DATING BACK THROUGH GENERATIONS OF DIPSHITS! THERE WAS ONCE A THING CALLED DIGNITY! IT IS EXACTLY THAT THING WE VOWED TO SURRENDER FOREVER TO BECOME SUPERFANS!

All: DIG-NAH-TEE! DIG-NAH-TEE! DIG-NAH-TEE!

Catman: AND WHY DID HE QUIT!? BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE MEAN TO HIM!? WHAT RANK COWARDICE IS THIS!?

[Licks arm]

AS SUPERFANS, WE SUFFER SLIGHTS ON A DAILY BASIS! ONE TIME, I WENT TO MY KID’S SHOW-AND-TELL AND THE SCHOOL CALLED THE COPS ON ME! THE STATE TOOK MY KID AWAY AND NOW MY FANDOM IS ALL I GOT! HOW COULD I JUST GIVE THAT AWAY?

All: FAN-DOM! FAN-DOM! FAN-DOM!

Packer Pope: IF WE ARE TO CONTINUE AS A PEOPLE, WE MUST HOLD FIRM TO THE PROMISE WE HAVE MADE TO ROOT FOR OUR TEAM NO MATTER WHAT. WIN, LOSS, MULTIPLE DIVORCES, WHATEVER. THE PACKER POPE ONLY GRANTS SPECIAL DISPENSATION IF YOUR TEAM HIRES A MILLEN.

[Touches little boy]

The Bone Lady: HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MY CHEST? LOOK, IT’S RIGHT HERE! I WROTE ON IT!

All: YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!

Chief Zee: WHAT ARE WE TO DO!? THE CODE MUST MEAN SOMETHING! WITHOUT THE CODE OF SUPERFANDOM, I’M JUST SOME OLD GUY ON DISABILITY IN MARYLAND!

All: OLD GUY! OLD GUY! OLD GUY! OLD GUY!

Arrowman: I’VE GOT AN IDEA! I SAY WE SHOOT HIM WITH A STUPID PLASTIC ARROW!

[Dies from being a Chiefs fan]

Big Poppa Pump: I’M AFRAID DRASTIC STEPS MUST BE TAKEN!

WE GOTTA

[Flexes fat]

TAKE HIM

[Flexes fat harder]

OUUTTTTTTTTTTTT

All: TAKE! HIM! OUT! TAKE! HIM! OUT! TAKE! HIM! OUT!

Saints Boba Fett: All right, all right, I got it. But seriously, one of these times, you guys have to actually pay me for this. Bounties usually involve money. I think I something about that stuff. This costume cost me two months of rent checks. My parents said they aren’t gonna cover the next one I miss.

Catman: DO AS YOU’RE TOLD, SAINTS BOBA FETT!