The NFL has far more bad announcers than good ones. Even among the bad, Phil Simms is a towering goshtard bumpkin. During the Steelers-Giants game, he’s having a standout game in terms of announcing derps and the game isn’t even half over. First, while praising Stevie Brown after the Giants defender stuffed Isaac Redman, he said that Brown “just knows how to play sports.” That might be the most incredibly bland commentary I’ve ever heard. It’s like they put Peter King in the booth. Sure, there’s an outside chance that he’s paraphrasing something that Tom Coughlin said about his own player, but based on Simms’ history of ear raping audiences for years, I doubt it.

Not two minutes later in game time, Simms refers to Mike Tomlin as “Mike Tomczak”. Yes, Tomczak once played for the Steelers. Of course, that was 15 years ago. And Mike Tomczak was a white backup quarterback, not a black head coach. Derppppp.