After Rob Gronkowski broke his forearm on Sunday, everyone had a good laugh at the Patriots in general and Bill Belichick in particular for being his usual dickish grumblelord self by running up the score late in a certain victory and having it backfire on him. This prompted Football Outsiders writer and Patriots fan Aaron Schatz to write a pedantic post for Deadspin in which he lectured everyone about how “insane” they are to blame and ridicule the great and powerful BILLY B for what happened to Gronk.
Schatz’s suggestion that Belichick shouldn’t be unduly castigated because his behavior was not unique holds up to logic. Yes, we realize that other coaches run up the score. NFL head coaches are almost uniformly horrible people. It’s a career that you cannot undertake without a large measure of sadism. But even by that standard, Bill Belichick is still a miserable, surly, cheating piece of shit. And what does it matter if fans are being unfair to him? What? Are the Patriots gonna fire him? Of course not. I don’t really care if Belichick is technically to blame for the injury. I just wanna laugh at the asshole.
Where Schatz goes off the rails is where he succumbs to that typical Boston fan attitude that other fans SHOULD like their teams. He closes out with this:
It’s still no reason to hold the Patriots to an insane standard that doesn’t apply to any other team in the NFL. Spygate was five years ago. It’s time to get over it.
Oh, is it now? I mean, I might be able to get over it if I actually knew exactly what I was getting over. But Roger Goodell destroyed the evidence, so who knows just how much cheating I’m actually putting out of my mind. Also, go pound sand, asswipe.
No one who isn’t a Masshole likes the Patriots and they’re not about to start until Brady and Belichick retire, Bob Kraft sells the team to fund the coke habits of various floozies and all their fans f*ck off and die. Furthermore, expecting fans of other teams not to hate your team is always stupid. People hate your team because it isn’t their team. It’s as simple as that. Now piss off and let us get back to laughing at Belichick.
Your Sean Taylor Memorial Meast for Week 11 is Robert Griffin III, who threw four touchdown passes in just 15 attempts and ran for another 84 yards in Washington’s 31-6 victory over Philadelphia. I saw some Redskins bellyaching on Twitter last night about how Jason Campbell never got a fair shake in the NFL. Granted, Campbell had no prayer last night behind his line but he’s also just not very good. You have RGIII now. Stop trying to defend Jason Campbell, Redskins fans.
Also receiving consideration: Aldon Smith, Andre Johnson, Dez Bryant and Chad Henne (smirk only)
Your Jeff George Memorial Least for Week 11 are J’Marcus Webb and Gabe Carimi, who each allowed three sacks in the Bears’ Monday night loss in San Francisco. Apparently, they were so leasty that photographers didn’t even bother to take their picture, so here’s an image of Jason Campbell getting his face mashed instead.
Also receiving consideration: Sheldon Brown, Andrew Luck, Mason Crosby and Ryan Lindley
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news & humor before everyone else.