Trainer: Jay, we observed your helmet make contact with the ground on that last hit. We’re going to have to administer a routine concussion test before letting you back into the game.

Jay Cutler: [eyes roll back into head]

Trainer: Yes, I know this isn’t pleasant, but it’s mandatory procedure as dictated by the league office. Tell me, Jay: which quarter is the game in?

Jay Cutler: [shrugs shoulders]

Trainer: Okay, Jay, I’m going to recite a series of numbers. I want you to repeat them to me in reverse order, all right? Here are the numbers: 5, 8, 2.

Jay Cutler: [exhales sharply]

Trainer: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Finally, I need you to do the following: stand upright with your feet together, close your eyes, and place your hands on your hips. Hold that position for 20 seconds.

Jay Cutler: [Walks off in the opposite direction]

Trainer: Yep. Those are consistent with our usual readings. Tell Coach Smith that he’s cleared for return.