That future KSK reader knows what Thanksgiving is all about. You get an A+, son.

Happy Thanksgiving, two-hand touchers. No Top Chef action today, just the three Thanksgiving Day games for your gambling pleasure.

Houston Texans -3.5 at Detroit Lions

The Lions haven’t won on Thanksgiving in nine years. Though to be fair, they’ve been pretty terrible for the last nine years. And a bunch more years before that. That’s fair, right? Good. Houston’s defense will be thoroughly motivated after last week’s embarrassment. Also, Gary Kubiak is withholding gravy, dark meat and all delicious side dishes from Wade Phillips if they give up more than three touchdowns. If Stafford plays half as well as Chad Henne it’s going to be nothing but dry breast meat and roasted vegetables for Son of Bum.

Washington Redskins +3 at Dallas Cowboys

Just a few stats provided by RJ from pregame.com

-The Cowboys have covered in two of their last 13 home games.

-Tony Romo has thrown three touchdowns and 10 interceptions in home games this year.

-The underdog is 30-12 against the spread in Dallas games over the past three seasons.

Most excellent. And now here’s one from Real Redskins

-Tony Romo is 5-0 with a QB rating over 115 on Thanksgiving.

Hmm…that’s not good. You got anything, Washington Examiner?

-The Redskins are 0-6 in Dallas on Thanksgiving.

God damn it, Examiner. This is why nobody likes you. How about one of my own?

-RGIII has never lost to the Cowboys, and he never will.

Lock. It. Up.

New York Jets +7 vs. New England Patriots

Oh god, is this a thing that’s going to happen? I just want to sleep, NFL. Must stay awake long enough to eat leftovers at halftime…