Last Week: 3-2
Overall: 25-24-2

Back over .500!

San Diego Chargers -9 vs. Kansas City Chiefs

I normally don’t pick Thursday night games, because I hate Thursday night games. They are a fucking abomination. Also, it’s also pretty pointless to pick a game that’s already been played. Still, I couldn’t resist this. The team that lost 7-6 last week is getting giving NINE points. And they’re playing the team that is forced to start Matt Cassel because Brady Quinn isn’t available. It’s too awful for me to pass up.

And yeah, I’m giving the points. If the Chargers can’t come back and win big at home against the worst team in the league then Philip Rivers should have his sinful lip hairs ripped out of his face one by one live on the RedZone channel. Then they should bring Norv Turner out and put him down for good.

UPDATE: The Chargers dominated, but the Marmastache is dead.

Houston Texans -10.5 vs. Buffalo Bills

Oooh, Mario Williams revenge game! He’s so mad about not being offered a contract and being forced to make between $50 and $100 million someplace else. That’s good motivation. Oh, and Buffalo is going to get killed because they’re awful while Houston is really good.

Cleveland Browns +4 vs. Baltimore Ravens

I wish Fios offered a “Best of Local News” channel. I’d watch the shit out of that.

Carolina Panthers +3.5 at Washington Redskins

What say you, TBL?

The Redskins host lowly Carolina this week, which means an automatic win. Unless Cam does what he did to them last season, and the Panthers win again.

Automatic! Unless it isn’t. I love you so much.

Atlanta Falcons -4.5 vs. Dallas Cowboys

The Cowboys set so many records last week. Romo threw for a career high 437 yards, Witten caught 18 passes on 23 targets, and the team turned the ball over six times. God, I hope Jason Garrett keeps his job forever.

Prop Bet of the Week

Bovada is giving odds on what Jon Gruden will be doing next year.

Coaching in the NFL +200
Coaching in College +250
Still in the broadcast booth -150

Only a fucking moron would choose to go back into coaching when they have such a good job at ESPN. Coaching is a miserable fucking existence. As long as you don’t have to spend too much time in Bristol, ESPN seems pretty great by comparison. Besides, it’s a well known fact that Jon Gruden loves wearing makeup.