Even though I'm about to die in a hurricane and still have to read Peter King's regular drivel, it's a joyous Monday, for there's a return of The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord. The blogosphere just hasn't been the same without updates on Muff Stubble Girl.
As for more directly football stuff, the Cowboys gave the world another gloriously derpy defeat, chalk full of fantastic f*ckups. The Falcons remained undefeated and hastened the downfall of Andy Reid. Norv Turner, too, looks finally destined for a richly deserved firing after losing to Cleveland, which is inexcusable, even for Norv.
Hopefully my power won't go out so we can still live blog this mediocre Monday Night Football tonight. If not, I leave the world with this thing I pulled off the local news.
Oh, plus a bunch of NFL GIFs, video and screenshots I cobbled together. Onward!
The Bears had more trouble dispatching the Panthers than expected. It was the second week in a row of playing cat teams for Chicago. That has to be awfully trying on Catler. He took it out on the fans, of course, muttering "fucking fans" to himself while being booed at the end of the first half.
Philip Rivers is apparently going for the dimestore Rhett Butler look.
WHAT? HUH? WHAT? I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.
It's not a huge rarity for a camera operator to get fooled by a playfake, but NBC's camera person bit real hard on this Pey-Pey play-action (Pey-action?). If the camera just followed a Papa John's logo around, I'm sure Manning would be cool with it.
Sam Rosen referred to the Steelers as "the Pittsburgh Penguins" during the pregame intro. Washington fans aren't thrilled about losing to any Pittsburgh team, but at least with the Pens they get to make tired jokes about Sidney Crosby crying.
So DeAngelo Hall is getting suspended. At least he earned it in the most DeAngelo Hall way possible.
Looking forward to the Jason Witten pointing at injured things meme.
We're maybe one Atlanta touchdown away from the "We want Kotite" chants.
— Reuben Frank (@RoobCSN) October 28, 2012
Not fair, Iggles fans. Kotite exacted the most anguish on Jets fans. They should be the ones who use his name as a slur.
Fuck it, make this guy the head coach. Just kidding. Eagles fans are gonna make him mayor.
Shocking that someone who loves Antwaan Randle El is super depressing.
If I were better at creating animated GIFs, i would totally have him throwing a dog out of his pants in Philly.
Hell of a catch by Zach Miller to give the Seahawks the lead late against the Lions. It didn't hold up, thankfully, because you just know Russell Wilson's league-leading charisma would have gotten all the plaudits for this.
This is how Gronk guards his liquor cabinet. Oh, it was also a banner day for Gronk celebrations.
All part of Montario Hardesty's plan to get more carries.
Someone is undercutting the Factory of Sadness' prices.
Probably don't need that much intensity to beat the Jaguars. Though I can understand the humiliation coming from them actually giving your team a competitive game.
Good thing your dad bought you a beer, I guess.
That's almost a Nacho-worth OLE! on that punt formation blocking attempt. Way to go, special teams savior.
GLOREEE BOYZ HAIL MARY TOO HARD!
This is my new favorite Todd Haley GIF that doesn't involve swearing. It's also the only Todd Haley GIF that doesn't involve swearing.
This was Tony Romo's reaction to Felix Jones not having the awareness to look for a pass on a broken play. I think it works for any Romo pass. Seriously, watching the Cowboys play is the best comedy of errors going on TV right now.
Please don't bench, Dez. Don't deprive us of the LOLZ, Cowboys.
I can't stress enough how much I love every facet of the Cowboys losing. Jason Garrett trying to look dignified and composed as he fields the dumbest team in the league is so great on so many levels.
This hit, even though unflagged, was illegal and certainly dangerous. and I'll be damned if I haven't watched it a thousand times.
It wasn't quite the derpiest derp of the day for the Cowboys - that would be when a Dallas lineman's ass caused Felix Jones to fumble - but it was the most painful of them, and that's worth quite a bit.
I want more like this!
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